Give Me A BREAK!

100th post! Woo! [Excitment fades back into anxiety.]

Things go from bad, to badder, to worse. Ready for a sob story? I can deliver them like no other.

As I sit in my apartment at 1:22am, anxiety ridden and clutching a hammer, I know that sleep will not come tonight. My shuttle for my new flight comes at 6:00am and I was hoping to catch a little sleep before then. I now believe that is impossible. But let me start from the beginning.

Saturday: Leaving Hopper at the vet was horribly sad and frustrating. On top of being overwhelmed with sadness of leaving her, the vet kept adding on a bunch of charges that made me lose a little bit of my mind. For the sake of my sanity, I won't rehash the details, but the jist is, I will never go back there, other than on Friday to retrieve my pup. Like Mario saving the Princess from the castle. My poor baby!

Not wanting to stay at my apartment by myself, and wanting to make it easier for my airport ride, I stayed at a friends house. I made the mistake of deciding to stay up all night. We watched movies and had a nice time. I was able to keep my mind from my sad little pup for a little while which was nice. I ended up deciding to take a power nap at 5:00, to wake up at 5;30. That all went well.

Sunday: We go to the airport and I'm surprised at how fast I get all checked in and everything. I go to my terminal, buy a bottle of water and a magazine, and put on my iPod. I hear some announcements and take off my headphones. Yes, you guessed it, my flight was delayed. 15 minutes, they said, so I put my headphones back on knowing I'd have plenty of time to make my connecting flight. Another announcement, I remove my headphones. And then they announce the worst thing ever. Flight cancelled. Not delayed. Not rerouted. Cancelled. The details get boring so I'll give you the rundown. I wait in line for close to 3 hours. It seems to be taking about 30 minutes per person. I'm in the back of the line, because they were doing it by connecting city. Since I had one of the longer layovers, Charlotte was close to last. By this point, I was exhausted. Throughout the crowd, there are various rumblings of there being no flights available until after Christmas. Mentally I prepare myself for a Christmas in LA.

Finally, finally, finally I get to the ticket counter at our terminal. The woman seems as exhausted as I, but is very nice. She finds a flight for me, for tomorrow. Ehhh. So off to home I go, still without sleep and ready to eat a house. They comp me a shuttle from the airport. The ride takes a while, but I talk to a nice guy from Switzerland who is travelling around the states for the first time. We talk about Switzerland and his impression of America so far. It was really cool to hear about his journey.

Anyway, I get home and order pizza and pass out on the couch. Completely exhausted, I sleep for four hours, waking up at 7 wide awake. I decide to continue my night on the couch, hoping to sleep more before my shuttle that is to arrive at 6. Well, the one night I'm at my apartment alone and without my dog, my doorbell rings at 12:30. Confused and a little scared, I quietly make my way to my door. I look in the peep hole and there's no one there. I get a little nervous, but keep looking. Then, after a solid minute, a man, possibly homeless, peeks his head into my view. He's looking into my peep hole, which as we all know is impossible, but it's still creepy. He then rings my bell again and disappears. I'm shaking at this point, completely freaking out. But it's silent, and I don't see him anymore. So I grab a hammer and my phone and root myself in front of the peep hole. Nothing. I hear a few sounds that could possibly be in my hall, but it's also kinda windy out so I can't be sure. I think back to other times in which I've called the police, and given their response times then, I thought I would just call the non-emergency number and ask for someone to come by. That way, at least I'd know someone was on their way. Still heard nothing, but let me tell you, sleep was the last thing on my mind at this point. Unfortunately. I keep a watch on the street and peep through the hole every now and then.

Finally, I see a police car drive up, shine its light on my building, but before I have time to be embarrassed, they pull off, obviously convinced everything was fine. That's the last I've heard of them. I heard my neighbor go outside, and went outside and talked to him. I told him what had happened, and he made me feel better, saying I'd be fine, and to just not answer my door. I told him that if he heard me hitting someone with a hammer, that it might be me attacking a homeless man and to call the police. Yeah, so anyway, at least they're home. Now it's 2:13 am and I'm still a little too scared to sleep. The one, ONE, night I'm without my dog, this happens.

Okay, tired. Might attempt to let one eye sleep. Life in the city is never boring, that's for sure.

Christmas Cheer

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Woo. Yeah, I'm not in the spirit yet. I remember when I was little, my brother, sister, and I would sit around the piano, (this isn't a lie, by the way), and come up with a concert for my parents. We'd include some dance moves and, if I'm not mistaken, props. Then we'd perform for our parents and try to pretend we didn't see my dad peering around us to watch the subtitles on Larry King. Our parents would go to bed and we'd sit up and watch a movie like Home Alone or the old Frosty cartoon movie. Then we'd dare each other to peek into the forbidden attic and sneak cookies or chips or something else unhealthy and that was supposed to be eaten in moderation. We'd try and try to go to sleep, but stay up late. And then our eyes would somehow pop open at five am, bright eyed and bushy tailed pulling our parents from their bed. They'd "snooze" us for a little while, but when we couldn't be hushed any longer, they'd take 30 minutes to wake up and get coffee, aka, set our presents out. Then we'd walk in with our hands covering our faces. Slowly letting the room be revealed, finger at a time.

Now THAT was Christmas. But now it's all different. Lucky if we're even all in the same room together, the only dance moves displayed are those of yours truly trying to get out anxious energy of being at home and feeling stuck. Especially now when going home means not having a car. (Perhaps my time in NY has trained me to think that car=freedom.) Now our parents drag us out of bed on Christmas morning wanting to "get it over with" so my mom can vacuum and we can eat. They feed us wine to keep us sedated and from fighting over the internet. Every year, they try the whole "let's sit as a family and just talk" thing. My dad still dodging for the muted television, while we all listen to my mom tell us all the new threats and all the people that are missing in the world.

It's not that we don't get along, it's that with my family, like most families, small doses are best. When my mom whines about me only staying for four days I'm like, "Really? Give me two days and you'll be sick of me, honest." Keeping five adults entertained under the same roof for a week is like mission impossible.

Christmas now is different. It's still nice. It is. Don't get me wrong. I do love my family. It's just hard. Taking all of us, used to our routines and certain lifestyles, and making us pretend we're all five again is taxing on everyone. I like going home, and perhaps wouldn't be quite as bitter about it if my dog could come with, (sadly, this year she's spending it with the vet). I leave on Sunday and do look forward to seeing the Christmas tree and my mom proud of all her decorations. I look forward to Christmas Eve where me and my brother still watch movies and stay up late, eating junk food. It's the post-Christmas stuff I dread. The first 48 hours is always great. After that, it's like, I want my bed, my house, and this year, my pup! The imfamous holidaze.

It's the weird years where we're no longer kids, and we don't have kids yet, that makes it awkward. We all want to keep up the spirit, but it's slightly dampened by the fact that we all know Santa doesn't exist and a little piece of magic is missing. This year in particular, I didn't get a tree and worked almost up to the day when my flight leaves. Maybe it's the fact it hasn't been too cold, seeing as this is my first Christmas in LA. I went to a few holiday parties, but take away the garland, and it's just another get together. I'm just not in the spirit yet. And I'm as perturbed as you by that fact. I haven't once popped in any Christmas cds, (but in fairness, my music lately has been dominated by the wonder that is Rilo Kiley's new album, "Under the Blacklight"). So maybe the feeling of giddiness will bubble in my chest when I land in my hometown.

Well the truth is, I miss the cheesy, happy Christmas feeling I used to get standing in my parents living room playing the piano and singing horrendously, laughing as my sister does the twist, or some other dance to make my mom laugh. I miss Santa! I miss all the holiday cheer! But as all things do, Christmas has evolved, and will continue to evolve as time passes.

Well Merry Christmas everyone and enjoy time with your friends and families! Here's to me getting in the spirit soon and bah humbug to being an adult! Believing in Santa was fun.

Work Sucks (Which Means My Social Life Will Be Heating Up Soon)

For as long as I remember, I've had this odd balance---


I'm stopping midsentence to say that due to overdosing on "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air", I've started branching out on my late night television to discover that VH1 actually plays videos late at night. And Pink is on right now with her "Dear Mr President" song. And wow, I love it. I really like Pink. I have some questionable music tastes but I defend this one. Her voice is amazing. She stands for something and doesn't care what people think. She's kinda badass and I love her. I love this song and the video is so touching. Funniest line: "You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine." Damn girl. You tell 'em.

Man, this song is really making me speechless.


Okay anyway, back to odd balance. Either work or social life is always booming. It seems when work is sucking the most, I'm enjoying some social fun times. When I'm getting promoted or something good is happening at work, I'm being stood up or a friend gets mad at me or something that puts me in the dumps. I've had a lot of work success in the past few months, but now, all of the sudden, work is totally going foul. Possibly I have spring fever now that I've gotten a promotion that doesn't quite kick in yet, but last week and present one I've managed to mess up quite a few things, or have quite a few things mess up on me.

Example? An output that used to take 2 hours, now is taking an average of 5 because of some odd graphics issue I'm having on one of the episodes. A reoccuring one that I can't figure out. I have to use a 3 hour work around. Another example? I got new footage in for the music video I was working on this fall, only for my computer to freak out, (bad hard drive maybe? this one is still a mystery), causing half of the footage to be lost. And I've made a few dumb mistakes, which has gotten my editor to be a little more short with me and not quite as warm as he once was. All these things could only mean one thing. Something fun is about to happen. Let's hope it's not got anything to do with the blind date I'm being forced onto while I'm home.

Funny story. My mom and her friend, who has a son that lives in NY, thought it would be a good idea to set us up on a blind date while we were home for the holidays. Get this: Mom wasn't even going to tell me about it. She was going to see what color shirt I was wearing and call his mom and tell her to tell him. Yeah, it was supposed to be a big secret. Luckily, my mom couldn't hold it in and told me. She's pretty serious about it, telling me that maybe if things work out I could move back to New York and get married. And hey, she adds, he makes enough money that you wouldn't have to work and could start popping out babies. She asked me, completely serious, why I was laughing.

Oh dear. My 25th birthday is looming and she is starting the fun pressure games already. Not to mention the completely inappropriate and awkward "date" she has arranged. I may ask him if he got the goats my father sent. I make a mean baked ziti so I think I'd be worth quite of few. Good news? As my friend and I were joking earlier in the evening, I could accidentally get pregnant and my mom would probably clap her hands and jump around screaming, "Finally!". Not that that is even close to being a possibility right now. But then again, work is sucking lately, so we'll just wait and see.

Full circle. I love it.

Step Away From iTunes

So since I'm already on a night schedule, I decided to just go ahead and stay up until I have to take my brother to the airport at six am. I thought it would be fun to finally set up that iTunes account I've contemplated for a while now. And I can't stop buying songs! Embarrassingly enough, the song that made me breakdown and sign up was "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty, and you know what, I'm not embarrassed! Judge me if you must, but I like Matchbox Twenty, 20, or even, XX. They were my first concert that I chose to go to, (I got dragged to quite a few in my younger years - usually famed country music stars).

Anyway, the point is, I need to get away from iTunes. I keep thinking of songs I want, need, and have to have.

Instead of purchasing songs I've convinced myself I can't live without, I'll tell you how I got a cruel universe joke played on me tonight. I have days when I wake up and feel like I'm going to see a celebrity. Today was one of those days. When I have my day planned out, I just know that probability is higher in some places, and there's a certain ratio that can get my hopes up.

A friend and I went to a resturant in which last time I was there, we saw four celebrities, of various degrees of course. Favorite sighting of that day was Sean Gunn - yes my Gilmore heart always wins out. Anyway, today, nada.

We happened to go by some other places that I would consider high probability, and still nada.

Well, my brother came over tonight and we went to get some dinner in Los Feliz. Well, my little Gilmore-loving heart nearly exploded as a Lauren Graham wanna-be walked in the diner we settled on. Los Feliz and I have a history of these run-ins and this woman was seriously freakily similar to Lauren Graham. Freakily. This woman had a nose (job?) that, if I'm not mistaken, was a replica of LG's nose. Strange thing to notice, but it was that and the hair that had me really thinking it was her. It took me a few seconds of staring before I settled on "No way". What a tease though! That would have been seriously the most amazing thing ever. Worse case scenario, this woman was LG's stand-in or something. It was the strangest thing. I felt like someone was playing a joke on me. I wish I could have gotten a picture but on the slim to none chance it was actually LG, I'm sure flash bulbs make her cagey.

Let's Go To The Mall!

Alien Planets

Here's the intro to that show I was talking about last week. Watch it and be amazed!