Christmas Cheer

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Woo. Yeah, I'm not in the spirit yet. I remember when I was little, my brother, sister, and I would sit around the piano, (this isn't a lie, by the way), and come up with a concert for my parents. We'd include some dance moves and, if I'm not mistaken, props. Then we'd perform for our parents and try to pretend we didn't see my dad peering around us to watch the subtitles on Larry King. Our parents would go to bed and we'd sit up and watch a movie like Home Alone or the old Frosty cartoon movie. Then we'd dare each other to peek into the forbidden attic and sneak cookies or chips or something else unhealthy and that was supposed to be eaten in moderation. We'd try and try to go to sleep, but stay up late. And then our eyes would somehow pop open at five am, bright eyed and bushy tailed pulling our parents from their bed. They'd "snooze" us for a little while, but when we couldn't be hushed any longer, they'd take 30 minutes to wake up and get coffee, aka, set our presents out. Then we'd walk in with our hands covering our faces. Slowly letting the room be revealed, finger at a time.

Now THAT was Christmas. But now it's all different. Lucky if we're even all in the same room together, the only dance moves displayed are those of yours truly trying to get out anxious energy of being at home and feeling stuck. Especially now when going home means not having a car. (Perhaps my time in NY has trained me to think that car=freedom.) Now our parents drag us out of bed on Christmas morning wanting to "get it over with" so my mom can vacuum and we can eat. They feed us wine to keep us sedated and from fighting over the internet. Every year, they try the whole "let's sit as a family and just talk" thing. My dad still dodging for the muted television, while we all listen to my mom tell us all the new threats and all the people that are missing in the world.

It's not that we don't get along, it's that with my family, like most families, small doses are best. When my mom whines about me only staying for four days I'm like, "Really? Give me two days and you'll be sick of me, honest." Keeping five adults entertained under the same roof for a week is like mission impossible.

Christmas now is different. It's still nice. It is. Don't get me wrong. I do love my family. It's just hard. Taking all of us, used to our routines and certain lifestyles, and making us pretend we're all five again is taxing on everyone. I like going home, and perhaps wouldn't be quite as bitter about it if my dog could come with, (sadly, this year she's spending it with the vet). I leave on Sunday and do look forward to seeing the Christmas tree and my mom proud of all her decorations. I look forward to Christmas Eve where me and my brother still watch movies and stay up late, eating junk food. It's the post-Christmas stuff I dread. The first 48 hours is always great. After that, it's like, I want my bed, my house, and this year, my pup! The imfamous holidaze.

It's the weird years where we're no longer kids, and we don't have kids yet, that makes it awkward. We all want to keep up the spirit, but it's slightly dampened by the fact that we all know Santa doesn't exist and a little piece of magic is missing. This year in particular, I didn't get a tree and worked almost up to the day when my flight leaves. Maybe it's the fact it hasn't been too cold, seeing as this is my first Christmas in LA. I went to a few holiday parties, but take away the garland, and it's just another get together. I'm just not in the spirit yet. And I'm as perturbed as you by that fact. I haven't once popped in any Christmas cds, (but in fairness, my music lately has been dominated by the wonder that is Rilo Kiley's new album, "Under the Blacklight"). So maybe the feeling of giddiness will bubble in my chest when I land in my hometown.

Well the truth is, I miss the cheesy, happy Christmas feeling I used to get standing in my parents living room playing the piano and singing horrendously, laughing as my sister does the twist, or some other dance to make my mom laugh. I miss Santa! I miss all the holiday cheer! But as all things do, Christmas has evolved, and will continue to evolve as time passes.

Well Merry Christmas everyone and enjoy time with your friends and families! Here's to me getting in the spirit soon and bah humbug to being an adult! Believing in Santa was fun.