Bad Notes

Okay I'm sure there are worse things in this world than sitting through a screening in which the notes just keep on coming, but geez. It's tough in my job to sit and have something you've worked on for so long get torn apart so easily. Which is what happened yesterday. Not that the notes weren't spot on or anything. Unfortunately they were. Of course I've had worse. When I was in college, a screening one time went so badly that the director walked out of the room, leaving me behind, humiliated and scarred for life. Which is when I learned to grow some thick skin, which is easier said than done. Because man, right when I think my job is a walk in the park, something like this happens that shows me there's a reason I'm making money at this. It's hard. It's really effin hard. And now I have three days to sit and focus and churn out some genius stuff, or I fear my job is on the line. So of course I'm motivated now - which is definitely one upside to this whole thing. But I have a lot of people counting on me, which makes this whole thing worse when I let, even for a single second, the thought slip into my head that maybe I'm just not good enough. Which if you ask my mom, is just not true. And if I had a weekend before the cut was due I'd feel better, but I don't. So I'm chaining myself to my desk today and buckling down and going to figure this thing out. It's days like this I wonder why in the world I went into this crazy business when you are repeatedly setting yourself up for someone out there to Mitchum Huntzburger you.

Anyway, that's my current thoughts on my flagellation yesterday. That and, why do I insist on dressing up for these things! When you are being torn to shreds, it's almost worse when you're wearing cute shoes.

Why I Limped Off The Elevator

No, I wasn't hurt! I was faking! It was after work on Tuesday and I had pulled into my driveway around 7:30. It was a rather non-productive afternoon at work and I was feeling exceptionally lazy. I park in the basement of my building, and with two rather small stairways to go to my apt on the second floor, I opted for the elevator. I always hope it doesn't stop on the first floor, so my laziness isn't revealed, but on this day, no such luck. Someone stepped on, I asked what floor, and he said 4. Four is a far more reasonable reason to take the elevator, so feeling a bit silly for my 2 flight rise, when the doors opened on 2, I limped out. My concern for what my neighbor thought of me made me laugh.

Work is going pretty good. I feel like I'm doing a better job than anyone expected, already ahead of schedule enough that they put me on someone else's project for a day to help them catch up. I got the owners of the company presents for Christmas. CDs of the Stars, my favorite band. Now I just feel weird about it. It's not like I talk to these people a lot or anything, I just wanted to show them some appreciation for everything that they do. I think I was the only editor to get them something. I blame my Southern roots. And I feel a teensy bit awkward now. Especially since one of them barely said hi to me in the hall post-gift. I had left them on their desks before Christmas, and surely he had received it by then. Was he feeling awkward too? It kinda seemed like it, and that's not what I had planned at all.

Anyway, today is New Year's Day, 09! I'm sick. In fact, I was so sick last night I fell asleep at 10pm and woke up at 3am, thus missing the ringing in of the new year. Tonight I'm having a murder mystery dinner party at my apartment, which means I need to push through whatever it is I have by tonight. Lots of vitamin C, Zinc, Green Tea, cold medicine. It also means I need to clean my apartment, and finally finish unpacking. I know, it's been 2 months! My bedroom isn't quite finished because I was waiting for my friend to finish the whale on my wall. Yes, you read that correctly.

Anyway, I should get to cleaning and germ fighting. Happy New Year and here's to not caring who knows you are lazy!