The Neighborhood

Man oh man. So me and my friend Emily used to always talk about how we wanted to get into a bar fight one day. Just sock some snotty-totty in the face with a groucho-guncho. Of course, us being loving and compassionate people never did. And I never even wanted to...until tonight. So me and a few friends went to this bar tonight which was clearly 21+. A friend and I were in line with several, several other ladies when these two girls, who, going on best guesses here, couldn't have been much older than 15, walk past the line straight into the bathroom. Well needless to say, everyone was like "Whoa, whoa, whoa there". These chicks were definitely not old enough to be there and clearly weren't polite enough to wait in line. So they skipped ahead. Well these Mary-Kate and Ashley wannabes didn't say a word and just went right in the bathroom, and waited in the line that finished in there.

Okay, one: I'm able to overlook the whole fake-id thing if you maybe act like you have a brain and

two: Don't start talking loudly using tooo much profanity, (where it's clear you are trying to prove how "mature" you are), and talk about your "boyfriend", who heaven help us all, was at least close to 15 and not one of the sleezy MEN outside of the bathroom.

Okay, well the girls in front of us aren't having it and apparently, (we missed most of the fun part), said their words and skipped in front of the teens. Well the Teens retailated by speaking loudly and obnoixiously in their most sarcastic voice, "Oh I'm so cool, I'm soooo cool!!" Oh, I hate you. These little girls were really starting to grate on me, when luckily a stall opened up and they went inside. (It was a full stall so their horrible voices could be drowned out.)

This was more than kids trying to have fun. This was kids that should be glad I'm a nice person. Because I'm calm and laid back and I almost slapped them. In fact, I asked a friend of mine to bail me out if I got arrested because I was THAT sure I was going to explode.

It was the worst type of girl...ever. I'm not doing a great job of explaining but I almost called Emily to say, "My time is here".

Okay, so I wasn't going to let these kids ruin my night! Late night we went to my friends house with karaoke and I had stopped by my house to get some stuff and I saw my neighbor. I invited him along and he came with.

We started talking about the people in our building and this one car who has, very long story, but constantly been an issue. Well I mentioned in this that now that he parked beside me, he was slamming his door into the side of my car.

My neighbor did not take well to this and I agreed.

We went, we sang. Etc, etc.

Okay, so we just got back a little while ago, 5am west coast time, and we pull up in the driveway and when we get out of the car, Neighbor eyes car beside me and says, "We should do something to his car". I laugh, and say "Like what?"

At this point I'm getting slightly nervous, but he doesn't need any more words. Next thing I know, he is stepping onto the hood of the car. I am laughing but still not completely clear on what's going on...

Yes, and then I hear it. He may, or may not have been peeing on this car. Oh man! That's the craziest thing ever. But somehow it makes me nervous that it's going to get traced back to me. And my car is going to get even more dents in it. but for some reason, right now, I think it might be worth it.

Ask me again tomorrow morning.

Also today in the neighborhood, a pipe burst and my street flooded like 2 feet! Up to our second step to our building! Crazy!

And then when I got home this afternoon, there was a hole where my street once was and my water didn't work. As far as I can tell, all has been restored.

Holy cow. I just noticed the sun was rising. Must go to sleep.

Buenos Noches

Sometimes You Just Have To STOP! (hammer time)

This will most likely be brief since my new old fav is coming on right now, (Law and Order - I go through obsessive phases). But today, as I was driving home to grab some lunch, I saw something unbelievably unusual. I can only hope that I can paint this scenario to you with as much detail as I witnessed, allowing you the same appreciation.

Just another example of the fun of living in the city. A favorite story of mine is a few months ago when I literally nearly bumped into a couple having sex on outdoor apartment stairs near mine, as I walked by with my dog within three feet of their, ahem, coupling. They were not bothered. At all.

Okay, so I was driving today when I got stopped at a light. I was just glancing around the somewhat deserted street, (no big businesses, not a whole lot of people), and I spied something that I couldn't tear my eyes away from. This woman. Mid-aged, no visable marks of homelessness, just standing alone on the sidewalk, her bags she had obviously been carrying dropped to her feet, and her arms, bent at the elbow, palms down on either side of her. Her hips were swaying, and she was enjoying the pure bliss of some unheard music. She had dropped her bags on the middle of the sidewalk, and with a huge smile on her face begun to dance. Now my windows were down, and I immediately turned down my radio, which was pretty low to begin with seeing as I was waiting on a phone call, so it wasn't my music she was listening to. And there - there was silence. Or as close to silence as one can get in mid-day Hollywood.

I guess sometimes you just have to stop and hear the music. She seemed to be having a pretty good day.