The Pitch

Let me start by saying I'm officially moved! Yay! And secondly, I believe I may be starting a new blog. That's right, I know. My friend has nearly completely convinced me and since we've been talking about it, ideas have been flowing. The premise is basically my paranoia. It will be my outlet for every disease I think I have, or how I think I'm going to get fired, or basically anything that I'm worried about. Apparently, everytime I see her I'm convinced I have another disease and she thinks it would be hilarious. So that will be coming soon i guess.

In other news, it's Election Day!!! How exciting! Also, my mom just called and said she thinks she has appendicitis. She's drinking the contrast stuff now and has a test at 2:45 est. She sounds so sad! That sucks. She recently had her gall bladder removed so this is just one more thing to add to her plate. Ugh. Anyway, not quite the way I wanted the day to start, but hopefully she'll be fine and it will be a kidney stone or something. She can pass it and be on her way. Okay, well off to the shower.

Work Sucks (Which Means My Social Life Will Be Heating Up Soon)

For as long as I remember, I've had this odd balance---


I'm stopping midsentence to say that due to overdosing on "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air", I've started branching out on my late night television to discover that VH1 actually plays videos late at night. And Pink is on right now with her "Dear Mr President" song. And wow, I love it. I really like Pink. I have some questionable music tastes but I defend this one. Her voice is amazing. She stands for something and doesn't care what people think. She's kinda badass and I love her. I love this song and the video is so touching. Funniest line: "You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine." Damn girl. You tell 'em.

Man, this song is really making me speechless.


Okay anyway, back to odd balance. Either work or social life is always booming. It seems when work is sucking the most, I'm enjoying some social fun times. When I'm getting promoted or something good is happening at work, I'm being stood up or a friend gets mad at me or something that puts me in the dumps. I've had a lot of work success in the past few months, but now, all of the sudden, work is totally going foul. Possibly I have spring fever now that I've gotten a promotion that doesn't quite kick in yet, but last week and present one I've managed to mess up quite a few things, or have quite a few things mess up on me.

Example? An output that used to take 2 hours, now is taking an average of 5 because of some odd graphics issue I'm having on one of the episodes. A reoccuring one that I can't figure out. I have to use a 3 hour work around. Another example? I got new footage in for the music video I was working on this fall, only for my computer to freak out, (bad hard drive maybe? this one is still a mystery), causing half of the footage to be lost. And I've made a few dumb mistakes, which has gotten my editor to be a little more short with me and not quite as warm as he once was. All these things could only mean one thing. Something fun is about to happen. Let's hope it's not got anything to do with the blind date I'm being forced onto while I'm home.

Funny story. My mom and her friend, who has a son that lives in NY, thought it would be a good idea to set us up on a blind date while we were home for the holidays. Get this: Mom wasn't even going to tell me about it. She was going to see what color shirt I was wearing and call his mom and tell her to tell him. Yeah, it was supposed to be a big secret. Luckily, my mom couldn't hold it in and told me. She's pretty serious about it, telling me that maybe if things work out I could move back to New York and get married. And hey, she adds, he makes enough money that you wouldn't have to work and could start popping out babies. She asked me, completely serious, why I was laughing.

Oh dear. My 25th birthday is looming and she is starting the fun pressure games already. Not to mention the completely inappropriate and awkward "date" she has arranged. I may ask him if he got the goats my father sent. I make a mean baked ziti so I think I'd be worth quite of few. Good news? As my friend and I were joking earlier in the evening, I could accidentally get pregnant and my mom would probably clap her hands and jump around screaming, "Finally!". Not that that is even close to being a possibility right now. But then again, work is sucking lately, so we'll just wait and see.

Full circle. I love it.

My Mom, The Teacher, Guiding Kids Toward Greatness

While I sit here on my porch, desperately trying to hydrate my body, (and hoping that this hydration can come from coffee), I call my mother for her birthday. She's a kindergarten teacher and turned 55 today. I know she's with her class, but she still manages to pick up her phone when I call. In fact, one conversation we had once went like this:

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Oh nothing. Just driving to the grocery store to finally get some groceries so I can stop eating all the junk in my house and passing it off as good food."

"Good! You should go to the grocery store more often so you don't have to do that!"

"Mom, Hopper did the cutest thing thing morning-- Wait. What are you doing right now?"

"I'm standing in front of the chalkboard and teaching the kids their ABCs."

"Mom!"

"What?"

"You answered your phone in the middle of a lesson!?"

"Yeah so?"

"You aren't supposed to do that!"

"It's funny, all the kids are staring at me and cocking their heads-"

"Because you're their teacher on you're on the phone! Why don't you see the issue here?"

"It's fine. They aren't getting any better anyway."

"Mom! They can hear you!"

"They don't know I'm talking about them."

"Just call me back okay?"

"Wait, what did Hopper do that was cute?"

"I'm not having this conversation with all the kids staring at you."

"I'm used to it."

"Mom! Just call me back sheesh."

"Okay, love you."

"You too."

So I call her this morning and immediately ask if she's with her class and she explains most of them are on the playground but she's with a few finishing their work. I feel like this is a green flag for conversation so I begiin to wish her happy birthday, etc. It is then I hear her talking to one of her students and she says to me, "Pretend to be his mom and tell him that he has to finish his work."

"What?!? Mom no-"

A little voice comes on the phone, "Mom?"

I'm silent for a second and then in my best mom voice I say, "Finish your work."

He begins to mumble on and on about something but I'm not fluent in toddler yet so I just sit there in silence waiting for my mom to get back on the phone. He asks some sort of question, I can tell from his tone, and I say "Um hmmmm." My mom's voice comes back on the line and she starts rattling off more lies for me to tell this kid. I stop her, "Mom!"

"What?" she asks innocently.

"I'm not going to lie to this kid!"

"What did you say to him?"

"I recited all the curse words I know."

"You're a mess."

"You're a mess! Happy birthday. Teach your class and I'll call you back later."

"Okay, love you."

"You too."

Click.

Come on coffee! Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!