I've been sitting here staring at this blank box for close to two hours now. What is the first entry in a blog supposed to be like? Well I've officially decided that my first blog entry is going to be about first blog entries. You know, it's like a first impression. You want to be engaging and interesting but you don't want to disclose too much information like something horrible that's going on in your life that will immediately set the pity train a-racing. If you're having a particularly funny day, you don't want to use up all your good humorous stories on the first blog. Because really, in a few months, who is going to go back and read the first, outdated entry?
Yeah. I make a good point. The pressure is off.
The NYC subway system is a whole weird interesting world upon itself. A community almost, especially if you commute to work around the same times everyday. You see the same people and its always knowing looks, nods, sometimes even passing salutations. I've found that you can be smiling politely at a stranger one minute, but as soon as a train comes, it's a fight for who's going to fit and who's not. I've seen mothers push their toddlers out of the door so they could get to work on time. Okay, that's an exaggeration and has probably only happened like two times, but it is kind of inappropriately funny. That's the thing about subways, your kid pissing you off? Tell them you are connecting at the next station, and get out of the train with them. Right when the doors are about to shut, jump back on. That'll teach them. Yeah, I obviously don't have kids. I used to, but not anymore.
Then there's the whole subway-flirting that is completely different than regular flirting. Subway flirting is something I have come to appreciate. Here's how it works. You're on a train and standing beside you is a handsome stranger. Your left arm is grasping the rail; his right. The train veers a little and your arms touch setting off the initial sparks. Then, it happens again, but this time, the immediate response isn't to move your arm away. Shy smiles and sly movements make the small touches more and more frequent. It's simple and fun. No words exchanged, just a little bit of innocent flirting. I've also seen this done with backs and on a really crowded train, complete bodies. It's always a little awkward though when you find yourself standing face to face with a complete stranger. Four inches or less between you. That happened to me once and it's like, where the hell do you look? You don't want to look like a complete ass and completely ignore the hilarity of the awkwardness, but you also don't want to be stuck staring in this persons face for fifteen minutes. It's a tricky game this one.
The negative side of this? The subway is the only place where some strange old man has had his hand uncomfortably close to my groin. It was a crowded train and he was holding a bag, therefore placing his dirty hands right in the region of my nether region. We got squeezed together in the most unfortunate of ways. His hand, my crotch. Those five minutes were the most excruciating five minutes I've ever spent on a train. You ask why I didn't turn or move or slap his hand away? Because sardines are living a comfortable life compared to the commuters on the "L" train at rush hour.
My weird human interest story of the day:
Today at work, I was going back into my building after getting a bit of "fresh air". As I was walking past security, I heard them discussing a man who had just ran through putting on a wig and a clown nose. My initial reaction was some crazy actor late for an audition. Then I settled on disgruntled employee who was forced to take on the job of a birthday clown after being fired for taking inappropriate pictures through his peephole in the ladies room, coming back for revenge. Silly string and balloon animals. Yeah, that sounds about right.
photo from fredshead.org
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