Take This Day and Shove It!

I woke up this morning in an exceptionally odd mood. I wouldn't say any worse than any other Monday morning by any means. But as always, the allure of coffee made me rise. My dog was in a fantastic mood. Staring me down, trying to lure my gaze away from my computer, smiling and panting when successful. When not, she'd let out a playful howl. Then she'd snuggle down into the covers and try to get to my body beneath the sheets. And then on our walk, she was exceptionally outgoing and everytime she'd turn around at me and smile, my heart would soar! She's sooo happy!!

Now if you know me, you know the problems I've had with my dog, or rather, the problems my dog has. She's a rescue and to an extreme that is rare, she is afraid of most anything that is new. People, plastic bags blowing in the wind, car doors slamming two blocks away. She jumps, and is on edge, and her whole life is filled with this anxiety that fills me with anxiety and I love that today she was having a good day.

And at the beginning of the day, I thought that maybe my day would be extraordinary as well. Think again. Now I know in comparision to some people's bad days, this was nothing, but I couldn't find anything to wear. Immediately this caused warning lights in my head to go off. I knew these days. I hate these days. You know, the days where you can't find anything to wear because that shirt makes you look fat, or you saw someone on the subway wearing those pants, or those shoes give you blisters. And you think of a shirt that would maybe suit this day perfectly, only to realize it's dirty, along with all the other clothes that you wanted to wear today because throughout your weekend of rest and relaxation, you failed to do laundry.

Blah.

So I throw on something comfortable, because let's face it, I wasn't going to be having a "You look fabulous! Where did you get that?!" day. And I didn't shower. I admit it! I showered yesterday, and I wanted to sit in bed and drink coffee and ponder what I was supposed to do on September 22nd a little longer.

I really set myself up for this day to be bad. I didn't do laundry, I didn't shower, and now I wonder why I feel blah? I wish I could go back and get up a little earlier and shower and dig a little deeper in my closet and find something that I haven't seen in months. But I can't. Instead, I find solace in being a bitch to those around me, and complaining when my boss gives me work to do!

I hate this day. I hate it because it's my fault that it's sucky and I can not really do anything to change it. My face feels greasy, my headband is pinching behind my ears uncomfortably, and I know when my boss says he wants to train me to do this other show so some weeks we switch off, he really means, even though you work your ass off four days a week, putting in more hours than anyone else in this office, yet you get paid less than everyone in this office, I can't stand for you to have a light Monday, when I have to be here. So I will train you to do this show, so on the rare occasion you have a chance to catch your breath, you can do my job too and I can sit back and be the boss.

It's really just one of those days. So yes, I could try and cheer myself up and not be bitchy to people around me, but I'm a freaking ray of sunshine compared to ninty percent of this office on any given day. Let me have my day to gripe and be pissy.