Modesty

I set out on a simple journey this evening. Dog food, tampons, and cereal. I knew that the local 24 hour bodega was always hopping with young people and felt a little uneasy buying tampons there. It's not just that it's young people, it's that it's young people buying beer in groups of threes and fours and being loud and boisterous, going to their dance clubs and parties. And there's me. In my comfort clothes, buying tampons. I know that this sort of modesty is juvenile, but it's unfortunately true. I'm picky about where and how I buy my lady products.

Now that I've said all that, I decided to bite the bullet and just do it. It was cold and I wasn't wearing gloves. The next store was another block, and although it offered the comfort of being an actual grocery store, the lack of feeling in my hands, and wind blowing mercilessly against my face, I went in. Being Sunday night, it wasn't quite as crowded as usual. Confidently, I went back to the non-food section. I got the dog food and started looking for tampons. I eventually found them in possibly the worst place ever. Behind the counter. So not only do you have to buy the products, you have to alert everyone in the small store of what you're buying.

"A box of tampons."

"Wha'"

"Tampons!"

"Oh. Tampons."

"Super please?"

This is probably when the guy behind the counter yells across the store asking how much the super, heavy flow Tampons cost.

Yeah, so not happening.

I risked the frostbite and continued to the next store. All went well there. At this point, I was on the phone with one of my friends who lives down the street from me. This girl is the most "think it, say it-no filter" girl ever. She's hilarious. Our friendship is odd. When we're together, it's awesome. In a healthy way, we pick-on each other's stereotypes mercilessly, ("I've lost brain cells just talking to you", "will you do my nails/laundry/math homework?"), and we build each other up with confidence, ("those jeans look amazing on you", "you're a man magnet"). You get the point. But we both have a tendency to fall off each other's radars a lot. We'll hang out every day for a week, and then not speak for two months. Right now, we're in the friend zone. Which is good because she's a lot of fun and I want/need some fun in my life to take away from all this stress!

So as I'm walking past her apartment I tell her to come to the window because it would "be cute to talk on the phone and wave from the window". She comes and peeks her head around. I ignore the loss of feeling in my hands, and stop to chat and see. Little did I know.

She asks me if I want to know why I could only see her face. In hindsight, it should have been obvious. Of course, I came face to face with the glaring truth of my overly unmodest friend. She ripped back the curtain to give me, and probably a few unsuspecting passerbys, an eye-full. It's true. I told her I felt I should slip some money under the door. She asked, "A dollar or two?"

I corrected, "Fifty cents."

She then proceeded to show me her arse, slammed tightly against the window.

The actual price of the peep show was my fingers! When I got to my apartment, I dropped my keys and literally, couldn't feel any of my fingers, to the point where I couldn't pick them up. I couldn't curl them around the keys. It's true. It was the most excruciating thing ever! When I finally picked them up, I dropped them again. It was a cruel joke that wouldn't stop. Five minutes later, (aka an eternity), I get them in the door. I don't know what I have against gloves but I really need to start wearing them more!

Feeling has since been restored in all my digits.