Untilted (like Snow Patrol)

What's it called when you see something done better than you think you could have ever done, and it makes you discouraged? Creative jobs suck that way. I get in these slumps so easy and it totally throws me off my game. With editing, it makes me go on doubting everything I cut.

i watched this music video the other day that totally got me feeling all doubtful. And I'm sitting in my substandard cubicle, (editing in a cubicle is just one more casualty of editing software becoming so cheap that you can pack six editors in a small room that would once house just one Avid), and I'm cutting this stuff that I never really wanted to cut, but now that I've been forced to make a career out of it, think I've done okay for myself. But not being the best, (I know what you're thinking, and yes, I'm one of those), gets under my skin so much that I can barely sit still in my chair when I'm screening with my producer. But it makes me wonder, hope, think...will I be better at narrative if I can ever get my hand out of my wallet long enough to find out?

This stuff I've been doing is so documentary-esque. And I used to think it was the no-script part that got me. While that's certainly part of it, it's also a different type of editing. Where edits are made of out necessity and fast cuts and flashy transitions are used to speed things along. Where the cuts aim to be subtle but the producer never appreciates the extra beat you leave to let something breathe. Where it's tighten, tighten, tighten. While I appreciate the general note of, "Okay let's speed things along..." I have this thread in my mind, hopefully from the tiny twenty minutes I spent with the lovely narrative where I feel like nuances are appreciated. But, mind you, I haven't even gotten the chance to find out in the professional world.

So that's my career woes in a nutshell. Basically I don't even know if I am going to be good at what I want to do. And I kind of have to be. And I'm not the best at the alternative. Hmmm. Anyway, that's it for now.