Thanksgiving Playlist (subject to change without notice)

The Pitch

Let me start by saying I'm officially moved! Yay! And secondly, I believe I may be starting a new blog. That's right, I know. My friend has nearly completely convinced me and since we've been talking about it, ideas have been flowing. The premise is basically my paranoia. It will be my outlet for every disease I think I have, or how I think I'm going to get fired, or basically anything that I'm worried about. Apparently, everytime I see her I'm convinced I have another disease and she thinks it would be hilarious. So that will be coming soon i guess.

In other news, it's Election Day!!! How exciting! Also, my mom just called and said she thinks she has appendicitis. She's drinking the contrast stuff now and has a test at 2:45 est. She sounds so sad! That sucks. She recently had her gall bladder removed so this is just one more thing to add to her plate. Ugh. Anyway, not quite the way I wanted the day to start, but hopefully she'll be fine and it will be a kidney stone or something. She can pass it and be on her way. Okay, well off to the shower.

Moving Stress........Again

Oh my gosh. Lists and lists and plans and fears are circulating like no other today. It's Thursday, and for those of you counting, two days to my official move in. And my apartment is wrecked. Wrecked! It seems packed, kind of, but now that it's so close, I'm realizing yet again, why I hate moving. It's all the little things. Like how last night I carted my 5 gallons of emergency earthquake water, that I had forgotten I had, to the new place. How I had bought a towel rack that I want to take with me, and my shower head in the shower. The curtains hanging in my living room, and how I need to replace the white blinds that were there. Stressed out yet? It is doable in 2 days but I'm working too. So regular packing I had planned plus all these tiny things that I'm remembering, all after or before, (doubtful), work. Not to mention the sheer dirtiness that has stirred up by my moving. And everytime I think I'm making progress, I open another cabinet and sigh. And Friday is Halloween and I'm not sure if I have the time to do anything. Which means cancelling the small plans I had, which was expected. And I don't even remember when or where I'm picking up my Uhaul. Although, I must admit, I'm getting so much help this time for the actual move, I'm nearly speechless. As of right now, I have 6 definites, and 3 maybes. That's a lot of man and woman power. However, that also means that I have to have everything ready to go at 11 when everyone gets here. Including having the doughnuts and coffee I promised. I feel like I've moved lots of things to the new place, as I had this awesome 2 week overlap, but now, it seems insufficient. Which is astounding because, Geez, most people and most times I've moved, there is no overlap. Anyway, I may try to get a few things done this morning, so I should probably get to it. Just getting that off my chest. Expect a relieved and/or post-mortem on Sunday. Cross your fingers for no disaster.

This Is More Than Coincidence

I've always been paranoid that I have a strange balance between my social and work lives. When one is going great, the other one starts sucking big time. Belief to the point that when good things happen I sit and wait for the other side to fall apart. Well, now, officially, this has become more than paranoia. It is fact. And I even have proof if you're interested.

Wow.

-BCT

More Day In The Life Of---

friend: [my boss] won't let me have lunch! i have to type while she eats!

me: bitch! call BBB

friend: i hope she gets an allergic reaction to the stupid sanwich

me: yeah seriously

friend: then i can go home early

me: dont forget to close this window!
haha

friend: she is still complaing about her food

me: ugh
well im going to go to osh
and get paint or look at it

friend: have fun!

me: i have 3 hours to kill

friend: wow

me: you want me to bring you food?
at least 3 hours
i can say its a "surprise"

friend: no bc i wont have time to eat it but thank you

me: who cares
maybe it will remind her you are a person
who eats to survive
and i can give her dirty looks
and offer her a spit muffin

friend: that is very generous of you

Remember That Time...

We were walking down Hollywood Blvd, even though we never go there because I know how freaked out you get. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. The guy on the skateboard didn't know about your fears and whipped past us, wheels loud on the pavement. But I held you close, and could sense you by my side, so I didn't turn around to check on you because I felt your feet beside mine. I literally could feel you trembling in fear, but I tried to hurry through the busy streets hoping that we'd be at the next block soon. And I heard people screaming, but that's normal for Hollywood. And cars honking. And I turn and look and you have somehow escaped me and the footsteps behind mine were not yours at all, but Jack's instead. You have fled to the street, attempting to get to the other side where you may feel safer, and I see the car coming, and thinking back now I don't know if it was really going that slow or if, in an act of natural human masochism, my brain wanted me to remember every detail so that when I played the moment over and over again, I could forever picture it seamlessly. And in slow motion the car stops and you guys just stare at each other. I have no idea what I say then, but I am panicked. And you somehow make your way back to me, probably because I'm pulling you there with my words, but you are subdued, and odd, and I can't stop shaking. And when we make our way back home, you lay on the couch in peace and hopefully thankfulness, and when I attempt to hug you, you yell at me! And that's when I know that you know I wasn't looking behind me, and I totally feel like a terrible friend now.

Today has been better. I'm glad you're okay, and hope you understand, but you are never going to Hollywood Blvd again.

A Day In the Life

friend: sometimes I Like to edit with my shoes off

me: word

me: so my online editor was talking all online to me today
im like can we talk in offline terms please
and he's like, uhhh
he was trying to confuse me
im like, tell me what you want
and hes all like well this is this and this so if you are delivering like this
and im like for the thousanth time, we aren't delivering like that!
and then i threw his keyboard on the floor and stomped on his mouse hand

friend: really?
jesus
sounds a little over the top

me: it was a scene
unscripted scene that is
he asked for it
i hate when people can't answer questions directly
im like why are you still talking, that was a yes or no question!

=======

me: i want that right now

friend:me too
im hungry1
!\\
so hungry i cant type

me: haha

me: (not haha like haha you're hungry, but haha to you cant type bc youre hungry)


=======

friend: ok so im getting my haircut tomorrow and its out of some woman's house. do i still need to tip her?

me: yeah im pretty sure
unless she says otherwise

friend: oh thats stupid
that just does not seem fair

me: yeah i dont know for sure though!

friend: well you are the 3rd person to say i have to
so im sure im going to be stuck with it

me: maybe it will be cheaper though

friend: ehh i thought so
she said depends on what i do but 80-100

me: ugh

friend: im sure bc i have thick hair she'll up it

me: thats pretty expensive!
she better weave in some gold

friend: i know!!!

Chilly Mornings and Other Observations

Oh my. It's so cold in LA this morning my toes are on their way to being frost-bitten. My nose is running and despite wearing a fleece and pants, I'm shivering. The real strange thing about the cold is that it's probably only 60 and I'm acting like it's in the middle of winter in NY. I'm so used to mild days, anything that strays is extreme. Also, most likely by noon today it will be 75 and sunny.

Wow, the stock market is looking quite scary, eh? That's a whole big economic discussion I'm not prepared for other than to give a Joey Lawrence, "Whoa" and move on.

Move on to.... Okay one of my biggest complaints with my dad is that he writes me emails like he is a college professor lecturing a class. The other day, I wrote him an email that was like, "Woo hoo! Check out my new apt!" He wrote me back and was like, "I'm happy to hear you are pleased with your new accommodations." It's like, "Accommodations"? Seriously? Digs, crib, apt, apartment, home, nest, anything! Accommodations is so formal. And then I'm reading some blog entries I've written and realize I'm totally starting to do that too! And I don't mean to do it! I tried to count the "quite"s in my last post and gave up. Is this pretenious talk hereditary? Eck, if so. I don't want to start emailing my friends with, "I would like to propose dinner for us tonight at the vivacious and loverly resturant located in Los Feliz on which we frequent." Or something like that.

That is all. Just a quick few things before my shower. *Pleasant day to all.

*This is purposely sophisticated.

And just for fun:



(Yes, that is "Strawberry Manilow")

Work n' Things

I just recently started a new job - one of many short-term gigs I've had in the past three months - but today I came to the realization that I've learned more about the industry in the past week with this job than the nearly 2 years I've lived here. Or maybe just became conscious of what I've learned.

It's such a small world out here in the industry.

I work in this small little office where it is me and an editor and two producers. They are rented out to us by the team of technicians next door. The editor and I started comparing companies we've worked for, and strikingly enough, they're nearly all the same. But him being in the industry longer, he has better contacts at these companies than I do. Friends. He hangs out with these people that I want to get jobs with again. Reputation follows you everywhere. You can't blow off a job or do a bad job, and not expect it to effect future employment.

Networking is so important that just calling it "important" seems not enough. This guy not only hangs out with these people, he's actually putting together his own show. To which I immediately said, "If you need an editor...".

I'm not sure my point is coming across just yet. I want to say laugh at every joke, say every idea is fantastic, but that seems so fake it's hard for me say. But that's what I would say for the mere fact that you don't know where you're next job is coming from.

Last week I was in the office by myself and became quite good friends with all the technician guys. Being as non-demanding as I could and grateful for every deck they hooked uo for me. This week I learned that these guys get calls all the time for people looking for editors. I told them I'd leave my resume with them and they said, "absolutely". An unlikely source for a job, but here I was gaining new contacts from computer technicians. Who actually, small world-y enough, know they guy who taught me about an important piece of editing hardware via phone when I lived in NY. Yet another connection that I never expected to make.

And lastly, and most importantly, in the nicest way possible, demand respect from your producers! It shows them you are worth it if you think you are worth it. This is lesson I brought with me from my last job where I was working in a cubicle and another editor told me to demand a bay. I didn't because I didn't want to be labeled "high-maintenance", and she ended up asking for me. When you make these requests and they are fulfilled, it tells you that your employer thinks keeping you happy and productive is worth the headache of rearranging an office for you. So I brought that with me to this job, and immediately on the phone, did something I never do, but said, "I'll do this job for x amount of money." Excuse the alegbra, but where x = more than the going rate for the position. By doing this I was telling them that I can get work for that amount, and that I'm worth it. A bit risky but the job in question I was quite over-qualified for. Then when an issue came up where I didn't think I was going to be making that rate, I immediately called my supervisor and said, "Am I actually going to make x with the hours that have become standard for us?" She immediately rectified the situation.

Anyway, it's been such an eye-opening week for me, successfully opening up 3 quite promising job opportunity paths. It's such a small world out here, that I almost feel like every job I apply to, I'm applying with many of my friends. Therefore it becomes all about contacts. Getting your name out there and your reputation too. Being fun to work with is almost as important as knowing the machines. Anyway, I feel like this is a jumbled heap of obviousness, but I had to get it out of my head. It's just interesting when you find yourself knowingly playing into stereotypes - stereotypes that are there for a reason.

Network, network, network!

Give Me A Brake...Light

Why is it that every car I get behind in LA has no brake light? I mean seriously people, get that fixed! It's so dangerous, especially when you have people like me who are texting or looking at their phones for info and all the sudden, you stop and I don't see that you stop because in my peripheral vision there's no bright light that comes on alerting me that you stopped forcing me to slam on brakes. And it's like a joke everyone is playing on me- "Oh my brake light is out, let me get in front of that car that has a bullseye on its front." I thought I was being paranoid, but last night alone, I counted, and for the total of probably five cars that I was behind, 3 did not have brake lights! I mean really! Especially when you're in a crowded city driving at night. And the one that irritated me the most was the one that was packed full of people, driving well below the speed limit, on a 2 lane road where I couldn't pass, and my general strategy of riding the persons bumper until they realized they were being an a-hole, only put me in more danger of not being able to stop when they would ride their brakes slowly, making it almost imperceptible to me that they are stopping. I know what your thinking, I'm the pot calling the kettle black on the whole a hole thing cause I'm riding their bumper, but this is LA, and when you're in a 35 zone, at least have the decency of going 30 so people who are using shortcuts to avoid traffic jams can actually come out feeling victorious in their knowledge of secret roads. And maybe since you don't have a brake light, you should at least put a blinker on when you turn so you're at least putting up a front that you care about the person behind you not slamming into you. And that's another thing, people need to learn how to use their freaking blinkers in this city. Someone literally cut in front of me the other day from the lane to my right to do a u-turn in front of me, just as I was, with blinker alerting my fellow drivers I was doing so, merging into the left hand turn lane, and this car had no blinker, completely disregarding that they were not the only people on the road, and when I honked at them, they had the audacity to look at me like I was doing something wrong, which is maybe the most ludacris thing I've ever seen. And I might not be the best driver in the world, and yes, I have little patience sometimes, but if you're going to drive around oblivious to those around you, don't come near me because I've had my fill of no brake-light, no blinker-using, speed limit driving people who probably don't have insurance, and who will probably just leave the scene after me or some other impatient driver fails to stop because they haven't signaled, like the kind of people in LA that don't ever stop for fender benders, despite the fact that it was clearly their fault, because they could give a crap that their $400 car got yet another scratch on it, and...yes I'm bitter. Some dude the other day, slammed into the back of my friends car at a stoplight, and then, proceeded to go around them and leave the scene. Well they messed with the wrong people, because my friends cousin who was driving, pulled out and followed the guy, getting his liscense plate number and then proceeding to pull in front of him, forcing him to stop, only long enough for them to get a visual on the guys face, who looked like he could care less that this was going on, and then my friends pulled over and were taken to the hospital for major whiplash and possible fractures on their body because they were in so much pain. LIterally. Anyway, I sound like a bitter old lady, but driving in LA is the most ridiculous thing ever. I mean for the most part, people are generally pretty good about being respectful and if you put your blinker on, someone will let you over. I even have patience for people that cut me off if they're using their blinker, but no signal jerks, are on my list.

Whew. That was a rant. Excuse my negativity it just gets me all annoyed. The word pet peeve comes to mind. Okay have a good day and don't forget to signal!

Family Fued

I got in a fight this week with my brother, in what I can only hope is for the best. We are currently not speaking, which is bizarre to me because even when we'd punch each other mercilessly when we were kids, five minutes later we'd be watching TV together and laughing. The story is he went to a concert with some of my friends, a NIN concert I had no interest in, and as I was getting ready for my evening out, I get texts that he had just yelled at them because someone spilled his beer. Okay, not only was I embarrassed that my brother had gotten out of line with my friends, I was worried because he gets in these moods where the smallest things will set him off to an unbelievably non-rational place. Consider my night ruined. I tried to call him, but nothing. I got word he was calmed down and hoped that they had worked things out. Still with me knowing the next day I would have to confront him about it.

Cut to: The next day.

I try and get in contact with him all day and nothing. Finally at 8pm, I call and he answers. So I ask him what happened and immediately he starts getting defensive. The story was that he had gone to get someone a beer and when he got back, not only was everyone gone, but his $13 beer was spilled. Annoying, yes. So when they returned, he said, in a tone that isn't so sweet, "Someone spilled my beer! Someone spilled my -bleeping- beer!" Anyway, I told him as sweetly as possible that it wasn't the right way to deal with the situation and he said, "I can yell at whoever I want!" "I can be angry if I want to!" "I do what I want!" Then I told him at the very least he should apologize to MY FRIEND, to which he responded, "I'm tired of apologizing my whole life!" Now, I'm like, "Okkkay. Here we gooooo. Act 1, Scene 1." Over-dramatic much? Anyway, long conversation short, it went bad, then good, then suddenly, very bad. He wasn't listening to anything I was saying and was taking it as a personal attack, even though all I was trying to get through to him is that I was worried because he was showing signs of someone who couldn't control their frustrations, and then suddenly, after talking to a brick wall for 20 minutes, I snapped, (a sign the temper thing might be hereditary), and said, "You know what? Fine! Yell at your friends all you want, but don't you ever yell at MY friends ever again!" And hung up. And then silence. For two days. So yesterday, I wrote an email that as sweetly as possible kept my position but reiterated I just wanted him to be happy and to be able to control these things. And nothing! I'm so at a loss at to what to do. It's eating at me! I can't stand it knowing he's hating me right now. The good news is, something I said must have struck a cord with him because he did end up apologizing to my friend, via Facebook. So now I've told my sister, and she's all worried but I can't go to him now. I have to wait for him. I think? Anyway, I hope that he's doing some self-reflection and that he won't completely fall off the face of the earth, like my cousin did at about his age, where he cut off all communication from the family, dropped out of school, and is out roaming the world somewhere, rumor has it, Los Angeles.

Umm, so that's what's on my mind right now. And finding a new job, and a new apartment, and getting a response back from an old crush about a wedding (not ours), and keeping the bugs out of my current apt. But the weather is beautiful here now, and I love September and the ocean, and not working. I'm finding peace the best way I know how:



Not everything is bad right now, but things seem to never be perfect!

Sigh

Finishing Projects!

Unemployed and finally getting some things off my to-do list. Here's the oil pastel pic I did this week! Not the best photo, but I'm pretty happy with it!

Are You Watching The Olympics?

It's my favorite time of four years. Summer Olympics. Here are my thoughts.

-I'm not feeling the synchronized diving thing.

-Men's gymnastics was breath-taking! And how adorable is Alexander Artemev? Until he talks to the camera that is. I know he's excited, and I'm hoping that's it, but he comes off as someone who I'd find extremely grating. He's adorable though, and what a way to end his first Olympic run! How amazing! What a fantastic opportunity!

-Jonathan Horton blew me away with his flawless night.

-Swimming is where it is at this year! I could watch Michael Phelps all day long. (I might be a "Phelps Phan", har-har. Okay my sense of humor is lacking at the moment, give me time.) He's maybe the most amazing thing ever. And, seriously, freaking adorable. Lovely and humble on camera, and I officially love him.

-More swimming, did you see the comeback by Lezak?! I know, I'm hitting all the obvious points, but WOW.

-Another semi-negative thought, not really getting into volleyball either. Syncronized diving I get, (the same thing for an hour, give or take a few nuisances you need slo-mo for), but I thought I'd be into volleyball, given the high scoring potentional the dream team from America has. But I drift.

I'm a day behind so I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the possible Olympic-record breaking swim tonight by Phelps, and women's gynastics too, but just wanted to tip my hat to fellow Olympic-watchers out there. Just fantastic as always. Love the Olympics.

I'm working through my last week of work on this show, after being extended and extended and extended, and this is seriously the last week. And I'm the last segment editor standing for the finish, (lots of responsibility, lots of glory!). I feel like I just did my freshman Olympics with these last few months. I'm beat and proud and tired and need a break! Next week there will be lots of re-couping. (And writing!)

Creatively Drained and Shaken

My current job, despite its perks, (weekly massages being the most notable), is creatively draining. I have a ton of unfinished projects I have piling up at my feet and I can't muster together a well formed sentence vocally, much less written. Not to mention the picture I saw the other day that made me want to draw it and frame it immediately. AND not to mention the music video I've been working on for almost an entire year (!!!) and can't seem to finish.

But the point of this post was to most eloquently describe the insane thing that I experienced yesterday. An earthquake. Yes, I'm sure you've heard. Well I felt it. Big time. As I wrote about here, I experienced my first earthquake last year. Well this time was different.

Backing up a little bit first, earthquakes have been on my mind big time lately. I can't explain it, but I've even mentioned it to a few friends lately. For starters, a friend had mentioned last year when the little one happened that she left her toilet seat up when she went to work so that if anything happened and she couldn't get home, her dog could get water. Well I never do that, mainly because my pup will and does drink freely from the toilet when I'm not looking. And I try to discourage her behavior by keeping it closed. Anyway, both Monday and Tuesday I inexplicably started thinking "Big One" and left the toilet seat up.

I also had friends in town this weekend and was telling them about my earthquake kit after seeing someone at a grocery store buying a gallon of water.

I left for work yesterday thinking about maybe taking my framed picture in the den off of the wall. No kidding. But I didn't, as I don't like to play into my own paranoia, or now should I say, physic senses.

Needless to say, when I realized I was experiencing an earthquake yesterday, I was shocked. It wasn't like last time. It came on slowly, at first sounding and feeling like someone was running down the hall, or a big truck was coming by. Slowly, or as slow as a 20 second total experience could be, it built until everything on my desk was shaking and the door the my office was unhappy on its hinges. I heard people outside in the hall and whipped open my door, immediately taking refuge in my doorway. "Earthquake!" people were yelling, and there were natives smiling a bit as people like me stood stricken in a doorway. When it seemed over, everyone was heading outside. I followed, still shaking, but no longer from the earth.

I spent the rest of my day waiting for the aftershocks. When I went home to check on my pup, my picture was still hanging strong.

But just another reminder of the thing that lurks on most SoCal residents minds: The Big One.

I'll be stocking up on even more earthquake kit items this weekend.

Where Does Time Go?

I can't believe it's almost August and it's already Friday again and that I'm almost one year older. It's been an exciting year for me but I can't wrap my head around the fact that time is flying. FLYING. Mondays fade into Fridays and Fridays fade into Sundays. I had so much extracurriculars to do this summer and nothing has been done. Anyway, that's it. Just wanted to express how freaked I was that time goes by so quickly and one day really soon I'm going to wake up and be 40 and think back to these days as if they were yesterday.

This weekend should be exciting as one of my friends from high school is coming to visit. I'm going to try and savor this time more than I have been in the past. When we first talked about this trip, I was sure it was miles away. Now it's here and the space in between is the same week over and over again.

I Want Your $$$$!

But despite living amongst gold diggers and such in the tawdry land of Lost Angels, this money I want will go to a good, no make that GREAT, cause!

Please sponser me in my walk for AIDS research and assistance this October in the LA AIDS Walk! Interested????

Go Here To Sponser Me With Dollars



I know these are tough times but I'll take $ or $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. So even if you can just give $, it WILL make a difference.

I'm Sore...and Bruised...and Tired

This weekend I went swimming and was able to live my dream of being to go swimming with my pooch. Unfortunately, she didn't take to the water as much as I was hoping and proceeded to kick the living socks off of me. And I tried a few times, so the end result was a battered me. Then last night, despite having not picked up a softball in three years, I played in a game. I was outfield and the lowlight of my game was when a grounder came to me, and I tripped, on nothing, got the ball, and threw it to god-knows where. The highlight was when a grounder came to me, a little to the right, and I slid on my knees, scooped it up and tossed it to second. Between the falls and all the running, my legs are sore and I'm pretty sure my knee wants to disown me. I was playing on the team from my new job and am going to feel quite silly limping into work this morning.

In other news, I went to The Abbey in West Hollywood for dinner and drinks on Saturday and a newly married gay couple walked in. The whole place erupted into cheers and clapping and it was such a wonderful moment that tears pricked my eyes.

My parents are coming to stay with me this weekend, actually sleep in my apartment and everything, and I'm thinking it will be a good weekend if it doesn't end in divorce or manslaughter.

Funny how time flies when I'm writing on this thing. Must go get in the shower. Have a pleasant day.

Oh and I hate to report this but Spark, for those of you who may be checking in, is not quite done yet. I feel like such a jerk for not finishing it yet but it's been a busy couple of months. It's coming soon-ish. I'm sorry for the wait.

The Neighborhood

Man oh man. So me and my friend Emily used to always talk about how we wanted to get into a bar fight one day. Just sock some snotty-totty in the face with a groucho-guncho. Of course, us being loving and compassionate people never did. And I never even wanted to...until tonight. So me and a few friends went to this bar tonight which was clearly 21+. A friend and I were in line with several, several other ladies when these two girls, who, going on best guesses here, couldn't have been much older than 15, walk past the line straight into the bathroom. Well needless to say, everyone was like "Whoa, whoa, whoa there". These chicks were definitely not old enough to be there and clearly weren't polite enough to wait in line. So they skipped ahead. Well these Mary-Kate and Ashley wannabes didn't say a word and just went right in the bathroom, and waited in the line that finished in there.

Okay, one: I'm able to overlook the whole fake-id thing if you maybe act like you have a brain and

two: Don't start talking loudly using tooo much profanity, (where it's clear you are trying to prove how "mature" you are), and talk about your "boyfriend", who heaven help us all, was at least close to 15 and not one of the sleezy MEN outside of the bathroom.

Okay, well the girls in front of us aren't having it and apparently, (we missed most of the fun part), said their words and skipped in front of the teens. Well the Teens retailated by speaking loudly and obnoixiously in their most sarcastic voice, "Oh I'm so cool, I'm soooo cool!!" Oh, I hate you. These little girls were really starting to grate on me, when luckily a stall opened up and they went inside. (It was a full stall so their horrible voices could be drowned out.)

This was more than kids trying to have fun. This was kids that should be glad I'm a nice person. Because I'm calm and laid back and I almost slapped them. In fact, I asked a friend of mine to bail me out if I got arrested because I was THAT sure I was going to explode.

It was the worst type of girl...ever. I'm not doing a great job of explaining but I almost called Emily to say, "My time is here".

Okay, so I wasn't going to let these kids ruin my night! Late night we went to my friends house with karaoke and I had stopped by my house to get some stuff and I saw my neighbor. I invited him along and he came with.

We started talking about the people in our building and this one car who has, very long story, but constantly been an issue. Well I mentioned in this that now that he parked beside me, he was slamming his door into the side of my car.

My neighbor did not take well to this and I agreed.

We went, we sang. Etc, etc.

Okay, so we just got back a little while ago, 5am west coast time, and we pull up in the driveway and when we get out of the car, Neighbor eyes car beside me and says, "We should do something to his car". I laugh, and say "Like what?"

At this point I'm getting slightly nervous, but he doesn't need any more words. Next thing I know, he is stepping onto the hood of the car. I am laughing but still not completely clear on what's going on...

Yes, and then I hear it. He may, or may not have been peeing on this car. Oh man! That's the craziest thing ever. But somehow it makes me nervous that it's going to get traced back to me. And my car is going to get even more dents in it. but for some reason, right now, I think it might be worth it.

Ask me again tomorrow morning.

Also today in the neighborhood, a pipe burst and my street flooded like 2 feet! Up to our second step to our building! Crazy!

And then when I got home this afternoon, there was a hole where my street once was and my water didn't work. As far as I can tell, all has been restored.

Holy cow. I just noticed the sun was rising. Must go to sleep.

Buenos Noches

Is 25 Too Old To Be Put Up For Adoption?

I think I need to stop talking to my parents about politics.



Also, baby is here! All my one or two readers already know this but I can't write a blog today and not say: WOOOOO!

Untilted (like Snow Patrol)

What's it called when you see something done better than you think you could have ever done, and it makes you discouraged? Creative jobs suck that way. I get in these slumps so easy and it totally throws me off my game. With editing, it makes me go on doubting everything I cut.

i watched this music video the other day that totally got me feeling all doubtful. And I'm sitting in my substandard cubicle, (editing in a cubicle is just one more casualty of editing software becoming so cheap that you can pack six editors in a small room that would once house just one Avid), and I'm cutting this stuff that I never really wanted to cut, but now that I've been forced to make a career out of it, think I've done okay for myself. But not being the best, (I know what you're thinking, and yes, I'm one of those), gets under my skin so much that I can barely sit still in my chair when I'm screening with my producer. But it makes me wonder, hope, think...will I be better at narrative if I can ever get my hand out of my wallet long enough to find out?

This stuff I've been doing is so documentary-esque. And I used to think it was the no-script part that got me. While that's certainly part of it, it's also a different type of editing. Where edits are made of out necessity and fast cuts and flashy transitions are used to speed things along. Where the cuts aim to be subtle but the producer never appreciates the extra beat you leave to let something breathe. Where it's tighten, tighten, tighten. While I appreciate the general note of, "Okay let's speed things along..." I have this thread in my mind, hopefully from the tiny twenty minutes I spent with the lovely narrative where I feel like nuances are appreciated. But, mind you, I haven't even gotten the chance to find out in the professional world.

So that's my career woes in a nutshell. Basically I don't even know if I am going to be good at what I want to do. And I kind of have to be. And I'm not the best at the alternative. Hmmm. Anyway, that's it for now.

eh

Oh man. I have been feeling pretty sick for the last 24 hours. I had to dart from a restaurant last night just to keep from disgusting all the patrons. When I did get home, I had a nice throw up session which left me feeling a little better. This morning, my stomach is still not completely happy, especially when I think of something I ate the other day which must of been the culprit because my stomach turns at the mere thought of it.

Somehow I can't get it out of my mind and am seriously wondering if I should go to work today.

On to more exciting news, my friend should be having a baby in the near future and I am soo excited for her!

Suffering a life of middle child syndrome, I got her two little boys a gift of their own. Tees from threadless. Apparently the risk I took of getting children clothes, which from my experience is usually a miss, paid off! They love them. That excitement has been staying with me all week! I love being the cool aunt!

Anyway, kailey, I can't wait to meet you!

Can't wait for pictures!

uodate: Okay, totally went to work and turned right back around. Eh.

AH!

Ever had a once in a lifetime moment only to find out you jumped the gun too fast and RUINED it?!? Me! I did tonight!

I Got My Hair Did

Yes, it's one of those lame pictures where you can tell I'm holding the camera out, and yes, I'm making a completely posey face, but understand people, I take terrible photos so when I had to take one for my east coast people, I had to be prepared to take about a million, and yes, I make faces in all of them. Judge me not for the photo, but for the hair itself. Woot!

I'm Late, but... WOO!

This makes me happy to be a Californian!

A little late but, congrats to the gay community in California, and everywhere! As I once told a close friend of mine, she will be legally able to get married in her lifetime! Woot, woot!

Had to include this! It says it all!

The Very Best Risotto

I'm easily influenced apparently, as everything I've been working on lately has made me want to do it. I'm working on an environmental show and am trying to go as organic as possible. Well there was this cooking segment where they made some risotto and it looked so good I decided to try and make some. I took their recipe and since it was incomplete, paired it with some recipes I found online, and made my own recipe. And let me just say, it's maybe the best thing I've ever made. Here's the recipe:

1 1/2 cups of Arborio Rice
1 Cup of Chardonnay
4 Cups of Organic Chicken stock
olive oil
a yellow onion
fresh asparagus
a tomato
fresh parsley
1/2 - 1 stick of butter
fresh shredded parmesan (like Digorno)

Okay, on medium heat, heat up a little bit of olive oil in a frying pan. When it's nice and hot, slowly add the chopped yellow onion. When the onion starts getting a little brownish, added a couple of handfuls of one inch pieces of the chopped asparagus. Saute those until they look nice and yummy. Add the rice. No liquid-yet. Stir the three of those around, so that the rice gets shiny with oil. Continue stirring for a few minutes. (I'm bad at measuring time.) Then add 1/3 cup of the chicken stock. Stir. When the chicken stock is fully absorbed, add another 1/3 cup. Continue until you've put 3 cups, in 1/3 increments, in the rice, (slowly, waiting each time until it's absorbed.) Now add the parsley, chopped. Mix that in and then continue the 1/3 cup of chicken stock routine three more times. Then, once all that is absorbed, switch to the white wine. Again, 1/3 cups, waiting each time for it to be completely absorbed. At this point, it should start absorbing slower. When that happens, you're getting close to deliciousness! Once, everything is absorbed, add the chopped tomato. (The fresher, the better. Go organic people!) Stir it around, until the tomato gets warm and soft and is integrated with the rice. Then, in slices, add the butter. A whole stick if you want, or a half a stick. Depends on how much you love butter I guess. Once everything is mixed, spoon to a plate and sprinkle the parmesan on top.

Prepare your mouth for the best thing ever. Eat. Love. Dance in circles. Thank me. Smile at a stranger.

It is that good.

The whole process takes about 45 mins to an hour and will feed three hungry adults. Or two really hungry adults.

So yummy!


You're Welcome

It's A Creepy Night Out

There's this wind blowing that if I were in NC I would recoginize as the wind before a bad thunderstorm. I think I've written about them before, but LA has these things called Santa Ana winds that creep me out. For the reason stated above - but the rain never comes. Tonight, in addition to the wild winds, the sky is a terrible shade of smog. An orange, almost pink color covering everything and furthering the illusion of forthcoming rain.

I'll snuggle on my couch, in my living room lit by my new lamp and watch Law and Order while the open windows allow some of the wayward wind in. Sounds like a good plan.

Sometimes You Just Have To STOP! (hammer time)

This will most likely be brief since my new old fav is coming on right now, (Law and Order - I go through obsessive phases). But today, as I was driving home to grab some lunch, I saw something unbelievably unusual. I can only hope that I can paint this scenario to you with as much detail as I witnessed, allowing you the same appreciation.

Just another example of the fun of living in the city. A favorite story of mine is a few months ago when I literally nearly bumped into a couple having sex on outdoor apartment stairs near mine, as I walked by with my dog within three feet of their, ahem, coupling. They were not bothered. At all.

Okay, so I was driving today when I got stopped at a light. I was just glancing around the somewhat deserted street, (no big businesses, not a whole lot of people), and I spied something that I couldn't tear my eyes away from. This woman. Mid-aged, no visable marks of homelessness, just standing alone on the sidewalk, her bags she had obviously been carrying dropped to her feet, and her arms, bent at the elbow, palms down on either side of her. Her hips were swaying, and she was enjoying the pure bliss of some unheard music. She had dropped her bags on the middle of the sidewalk, and with a huge smile on her face begun to dance. Now my windows were down, and I immediately turned down my radio, which was pretty low to begin with seeing as I was waiting on a phone call, so it wasn't my music she was listening to. And there - there was silence. Or as close to silence as one can get in mid-day Hollywood.

I guess sometimes you just have to stop and hear the music. She seemed to be having a pretty good day.

How To Blow Eight Hundred Dollars In One Weekend

That's depressing. I kinda went on a spending spree this weekend. Eck. After successfully finishing me two-job work week, I got two paychecks. So I decided I should get new stuff for my apartment. (And YET ANOTHER bridesmaids dress.)

And then I came home and checked the damage, and woo-wee, I can swipe a card to death. While I want to buy the two Mary Roach books I don't have, Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife, AND the Chelsea Handler book, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, I think my card, (and account), could use a break.

My damage went towards:

A side table for my couch,
a lamp to go atop,
wine glasses,
(non-related!) candles,
a couple of new coffee cups,
dog toys and doggy blanket,
a car wash,
a tank of gas (GUH),
bought dinner for a friend,
the aforementioned Bridesmaids Dress,
and a wooden figurine guy in which I can paint and decorate to my hearts desire, and was only 5 bucks but thought it was one of the cooler things I purchased.

I rationalize by believing I helped the economy a little this weekend.

But yay! Lamp light! No more overhead! How exciting. In hindsight, the lamp, table, and dress were the three objectives for the weekend. And now I sit with all these new dishes and stuff, and a hole in my pocket where money once was.

New job is good. It's good work-wise, friend-wise I feel like a total loser, not seeming to really click with anyone. And I think my boss hates me. And the guy who sits in the cubicle, (that's right, I'm editing in a cubicle), next to me, freely interchanges "bro" for "bra" and I think I may go deaf from turning my volume up so loud to try and drown the sac-relig out. "Bra, you got to check this out. Bra, Bra, Braaaa." Vom.

But lots of work, a little play, and lots of stress-relieving shopping going on. (Isn't it ironic that I shop to relieve stress, but after checking my account, the stress comes back full force?)

Oh and then there's this fun, but oh so speculative and probably just me projecting, (it needs to be taken with less than a grain of salt), thing, in which I went to the beach on Sunday morning and got quite a surprise. I was driving down Sunset to pick up my brother, (or "bra"), and I saw a black Range Rover with a brunette in a yellow hat leaving the street in which my fav Matt in the world lives, and it was definitely a drive of shame hour. Okay so if you know how many black Range Rovers there are in LA, (I counted fourty in thirty minutes once), you will know that the probability at what I am suggesting, without actually suggesting, mind you, was probably me wanting to see that. If that made any sense to you, your name is probably Christie, or you are as insane as I.

I love wine. I love decorating my apartment. I love visitors. I love a clean apartment, that oh-so rarely happens. I love my new wine glasses! I started the "I loves" for a reason and now it has escaped me.

Another random thought: whatever happened to the Charlotte Hornets? I told you it was random.

Memorial Day weekend is on the horizon!!!! Wooooo-to the-Hooo!

Work, work, work! (Sleep?)

I am up early as the sun today to start my hell week. It's actually awesome week because I ended up getting an amazing job last week! Okay, so since I have a little time, (woke up before my alarm convinced I was going to sleep in), I'll tell you the whole story. I'm going to channel Chandler for a second and have a "my diamond shoes are too tight and my hundreds won't fit in my wallet" kind of moment.

So a couple of weeks ago, despite having a job, (same place I've worked for like forever), I started applying to a few jobs to see if anything would come up. If somehow I could make the transition to editing. Well, last Wednesday, I got an interview for what I thought was an editing position, so I jumped for joy and then went to the interview. (I should probably start switching that order.) It ended up they thought I was better suited for the assistant position. I was not really looking for an assistant job, but they were awesome and really wanted me to work with them, offering me more than they had budgeted for and calling my phone to remind me that they really wanted me. On the other hand, my current job, who I went ahead and told I was considering the other job, was very ho-hum about the whole thing and didn't offer me anything to stay. So I went ahead and accepted the other offer, even though hours and money were the same. My job told me that this Thursday (night) would be my last day.

Not ten minutes later though, did I get a call from a company looking for an editor! Of course, this is an opportunity I couldn't pass up. So I went into the interview on Friday and they later called me and told me I got the job. I accepted without hesistation and called the other job. I apologized profusely, but they were totally cool and completely understood. Problem is, new job starts today. (days), and old job ends Thursday, (nights). So basically, I'm left working both for this week. How am I going to juggle it all? Only time will tell!

But editing, woo!!!

And then, yesterday, my phone was stolen from the beach, after I had just taken beautiful pictures of a seal that had come to rest on the shore. I knew if I didn't get a new one yesterday, it would be an entire week before I was able to get one. Problem is, since I deactivated mine yesterday, the only way to activate it was to talk to a customer service individual, who wasn't there until today. And in one of my finer blonde moments, I decided I would just call this morning when I woke up. Except for the little fact I don't have a phone. Genius. So now, I guess I will be searching for a phone to borrow today at the new job so I can activate my phone and not be without a lifeline any longer.

Anyway, it's shower time and then work time! Woo! I'm excited and a little scared and just ready for this week to be over! Godspeed readers!

The Holy Grail

Matthew Perry walked by me last night. Looking hot, I may add! He was at the movies with some friends. The friend I was with has been to the movies 5 times since she's lived in LA, including last night. Three of those five? She's seen Mr. Perry. Lucky girl. After he left, she started talking about how funny it is she's seen him so much to which I promptly responded, "Rachel! Stop stealing my thunder!"

So officially, I've figured out what I do when I see someone I love. I freeze and go silent and concentrate on not passing out. The probability of me ever being able to actually speak words is so slim I wonder if I'll ever have the guts to say, "Good job in Numb", which is what I had been planning on saying when I finally crossed paths with Matthew.

My pup is sick but she's not acting like it except a few choice moments in which my heart falls to my feet. We're going to the vet tomorrow to figure out just what's going on. I'm pretty nervous about that actually. Moving on...

In the span of twenty four hours, I got two exciting job prospects placed in my "Maybe" column.

And, you know when you make coffee and it's all wrong, too watery or too strong or during the process of coffee-making, the filter was pushed inwards causing grounds to spill into the maker, and its so much that when you put in the creamer you can see the grounds floating? And you try to drink it anyway, but it's so bad you have to deprive your body of caffeine for a longer time, so you pour the coffee into the sink and frown as the too light or too dark coffee circles in the drain, (or more realistically, splashes down the pile of dirty dishes, going to a drain that you know is down there somewhere). And you vow to make it worth your while this time by making the best pot of coffee you have ever made, but when you finally get it all made, you taste it, and while it's a little better, it's not the best cup you've ever made, but you drink it anyway, because third times a charm doesn't apply to you when you need caffeine and don't want to waste anymore of your freshly ground coffee, and even though it doesn't taste just right, you smell it and need it, so you take it down with a grimace and vow that tomorrow, you will make the best pot of coffee you have ever made.

This is how I feel about most of my life right now.

On the subject of coffee, just wanted to let you know that while I still love my coffeemaker, the honeymoon is sooo over. Just not putting out the way it use to, you know? (That was just too easy.)

The Great Misheard

Okay, my favorite misheard lyrics are always when I think a song is saying something really sweet, and then, well, I discover that's not the case. I was lying in bed a few minutes ago looking up lyrics of Liz Phair's cd "Somebody's Miracle" when I found out something that made me laugh out loud.

But first, let me give you a different classic example.

Barenaked Ladies, "Break Your Heart". For years, when it got to the breakdown-screamy part I had always belted out, "And Now I'm In Love With You!" The song is basically about this guy who leads this girl on and she falls for him. She finds out, and they have a big argument. She gives it to him good and breaks it off with him. Now, at this point, I had always assumed that once she left him, he had realized he was in love with her but it was too late and so sad and no one won. But no. It actually says: "And now I'm *over you*, I'll be OK, now that I've got what I want, and that's rid of you - goodbye."

Okay so different story that I laughed about for a while. I was sad, however, that the song isn't quite as downtroddened (in the good way), as it sounds it should be.

Now for Liz Phair. I think I'm going to be doing a whole blog entry on this albim in the future, but for now I'll just say, wow. I love this woman.

Okay, in the song "Got My Own Thing", it's a pretty cheerful beat about this lady and her fella. Now, I was singing part of the chorus, "Oh, boy, I'd love to have beautiful day - you're so bad, watch the silly things you do. Oh boy, I'd love to have beautiful day, I hope you're swinging this way too."

Haha! I realize this is not exactly grammatically correct, but it sounded cute and fun, and I imaged a cute couple eating ice cream in front of a tv in their pjs and laughing.

Not quite. I just discovered the actual lyrics are:

"Oh, boy, I'd love to help, give you enough rope to hang yourself and watch the silly things you do. Oh, boy I'd love to help, give you enough rope to hang yourself - I hope you're swinging this way too."

MUCH DIFFERENT! Ha.

It's so obvious now but----


I don't know why I never knew about this album until very recently. She kinda helped shape my teenage years a bit. She's half of what I am, and half I what I wish I was.

Look up this album ASAP. Love, love, love, love, etc

Spoons

Here's an actual ad from Facebook I was talking about the other day.





If I had a friend with a spoon collection, I'd be convinced someone was following me. Luckily, I don't. Poor sap who did get that ad and actually is having a problem with their spoon-collecting friend. I imagine they are probably thoroughly fruked out right now.

My Lost Might Be Voice

My night as is follows:

It started off with my (male) friend coming to pick me up. Of course, the moment I sat to pee, he knocks on the door. I hear him saying something, so I scream, "Hold on!" My dog is barking and I hurry up and flush, turning the corner out of my bathroom, pulling my pants up as i go. The second I turn the corner, he is walking in my door! Pants still not up! He had thought I said "Come in!" not "Hold on." At this moment I knew that that alone was going to put this night on the books. So anyway, we went to the roller derby again and, again, had a blast. I consumed two Hot Dog on a Stick corndogs, which was the sum of my food consumed today, seeing as I woke up at a miserable, sun-lite two-thirty. (I hate missing the morning, which is the downfall of being on a night schedule.) After that, we decided to go to the after-party at a club-ish type of place where, I, gasp-shock-awe, DANCED. Danced like that country song encourages. Then we proceeded to our friends' house where we played cards and I then consumed an eDiets dinner, which was pretty effin good. Then there was karaoke. And I'll just say it didn't sing me. I sang like that country song encourages. At one point there was a beatbox set up for me to rap, which, I'm kinda actually good at. Woof. And then I sang just about every song - but my shining moment: "What's Up" by 4 non-blondes. It was so bad it was so good. I felt like a rockstar, (an illusion that is only further by the fact that there is a bra silhouette on my television set at the moment.) Anyway, we finally decided it was time to call it a night, and walked outside and the sun was up. That's right. The sun was up. It's effin morning time folks! Def a night for the books.

sophisticated technology that freaks me out

ugh. I just got off work. blimey. Long night with lots of "I don't even want to BE HERE" moments and even more, "can I tell my co-worker to eff off and still retain my work friendships?" moments. I really don't even want to get into it. Let's just say "ugh" and be done with it. ugh.

What I do want to get into is how Facebook has been freaking me out lately. Seriously. Have you guys ever checked out the ads they have on there? At first it was innocent enough, an ad for a movie coming to DVD that I had stated on my profile I liked. Easy enough. Then it got a little more strange when things I Googled started popping up. Still, I found an explanation. It can see what I Google. Freaky? Yes. Suspect? These days, no. I started seeing "Quit Smoking" ads and found that strange too. But I figured that it was a campaign for all young people.

THEN, my friends, it gets really weird. So I ate at The Cheesecake Factory on Sunday night. This is the first time I believe I have ever typed "Cheesecake factory". Well yesterday, I'm playing a game of poker on Facebook, my new addiction, and there pops up an ad. For what? THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Which makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. After being reminded of my gluttonous dinner, I start THINKING about how I need to work out. And no joke, an ad for a personal trainer comes up. Now, what the eff is going on here? Is it reading my mind??? Can it access my financial records?!? I know that these ads are specifically geared towards me because of the previous examples. (They always have something to do with what I've typed/messaged about lately.) But these last ones just knocked me for a second. I hadn't told anyone about my dinner. I had told less people about how I was thinking about getting a personal trainer. Then I start thinking about all the other ads that have popped up and realized that Facebook knows more about me than my own mother!

And it has seemed to paint a portrait of me that freaks me out a bit. All my vices on the glaring surface of my computer. It has hit all my weak spots at one point or another. And I'm a little pissed actually that they haven't brought out any of my fun and exciting qualities! "Awesome kites!" "Sky diving lessons!" "Dog parks!" "Bikes!" "Books!" They have just seemed to harp a bit on my downfalls here and have put me in some category I don't want to be in. (If ads start popping up for Moo-Moos and Hoverrounds I tossing the damn computer out of the window.)

Freaks. me. out.

Oh! I have an even more horrifying thought! What if Facebook can gather enough information to hypothesis your date of death and starts advertising things one might need in order for such an event. Horror movie! Hello! Hand over that paycheck South Africa, (they love those low-budg horror flicks, or so I hear).

Oh! One more Hopper photo for you to snuggle with. This one is from Malibu this past Saturday. She was digging up our feet! Or as my mom likes to think - looking for my lost car key. Yes, lost car key. On the beach. On the far reaches of Los Angeles County. With a cell phone in my locked car. With the knowledge I had been playing in the water. I didn't find the key, (I fear it may be well on it's way to Japan by now), but I've realized the more I tell this story, the more anticlimatic it is. So for entertainments sake, let's just pretend my window wasn't cracked just so and I didn't have a valet key tucked in my console, and instead, Hopper, friend, and I were forced to camp out on the beach until we finally ran into a nice fellow carrying a slim jim who hot wired the car and sent us on our way. Yes, that would have been a better story. Oh! Picture!




Sleep time!

F***ing Obama!!!!

My head is going to explode from the hilarity I'm about to share with you. A couple of months ago, these videos came out:





Okay genius. Right? I mean how can it get better than that?!?! Brad Pitt. Harrison Ford. Cameron Diaz. Josh Groban for goodness sakes!

OKAY BUT HERE'S THE THING. IT DOES GET BETTER.



NO WORDS!

Mean Mr. Mustard!

Okay I've stopped trying to analyze this one but here's an interesting dream I had last night. Slightly traumatic.

Okay, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien were eating lunch together and I was somehow sitting at a table near them and held some sort of respect in their eyes. (Bare with me here.) I was sort of in charge of keeping people's noses in their own business, telling them to move along if they stopped to talk. Weeeelllll, at some point, Matthew Perry comes and is standing next to me watching Jay and Conan with a smile. I stare up in wonder as this is the first time I've seen Chandler, my second television crush, (the first, JTT). And I grab his sleeve, (this I remember clearly, grabbing his sleeve that is), and he smiles at me, and I say hello. At this point, Jay and Conan disappear, or I abondon my station. It's not clear which. We have a plesant conversation and then next thing dream-me knows, I'm eating lunch at a table with him and his friends. But I'm no longer a fan. I'm one of them.

Okay so we are all talking and laughing and having a good time and I start squeezing in fan questions. All is going well until... dum, dum, dum...dream-me says, "How's Lauren?" (As in Lauren Graham.) He puts his head in his hands and growls. Everyone at the table glares at me and he stands abruptly and starts pacing. He's on a sidewalk going in and out of view and everyone is trying to coax him down. But he's furious. They're all like, "It's okay!", "She didn't mean it!" "Come back and eat your hotdog!"

Meanwhile, in my most, "you're being overdramatic" voice I yell, "Matttttthhhhhhhheeeewwwww!"

He ignores me.

"Matthew Perry I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

In my head, I'm wondering what happened with Lauren. I'm scared to ask.

Another friend approaches the table and asks what happens when a man, who I will refer to as Mean Mr. Mustard, (one of Matthew's friends), points to me and says, "Betsy asked him about Lauren." And then ripples of "Betsy asked him about Lauren" goes through the table, along with scowls of discontent and glares directed towards me. All of the sudden, Mean Mr. Mustard grabs an old-school yellow bottle of mustard and points it at me and starts squirting. It is hitting the side of my face and hair in spurts of embarrassment so my pleas increase, "Matthew!!!! Matthew Perry!!!!!" Dream-me is convinced he's going to come save me from Mean Mr. Mustard.

At this point, mustard is dripping from my chin and I'm pretty sure my yells have turned panicked. The mustard and my pleas for Matthew don't stop coming until I reach consciousness.

Seriously. That was my dream.

LAnniversary!!!!!

I've been here one year as of today!

The Roller Derby Kicks Ass!

When you're feeling low, nothing can bring you up again like the bad-natured, trash talking, throwing each other into walls, Derby Dolls. I went to my first roller-derby last night, and I'm a changed woman. It was awesome! The arena was like a warehouse where you can get beer in cans and scream bloody murder for your chosen team. As the girls hip-bump each other into walls and fall and trip, the crowds "Ohh" and "Ahhh" in excitement and dismay. The whole thing has an awesome atmosphere with lots of smiles and a friendly competition between the opposing fans. There was even a wave and the whole thing is just really exciting. Not to mention, the awesome skating abilites shown by all the skaters, my fav, Mila Minute, who was the star of the show. She whipped around the rink at speeds that would have your mind spinning, racking up points nonstop.

Anyway, the outfits are crazy cool, with fishnet stockings and skirts so short, bloomers were required. The game I saw last night was the "Fight Crew" (flight attendents) vs "The Sirens" (naughty cops). Names for FC included "Crystal Deth", "Judy Gloom", and "Janis Choplin". Sirens included, "Scarlett Yohandsoff", "Paris Killton", and "Amber Alert!". HA! Love it.

Also in the crowd enjoying the organized mayham was Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz! And then there was some Hollywood producer named Roger Assaultrey, who was the star of the show with his quick whip of a whistle.



Well, that was good fun and I have definitley found my monthly Saturday night activity.

Kids Are Funny, (Maybe Bill Cosby Was On To Something)

British babies!!!

Expletive, Expletive, etc

How quick you can go from on top to run under a bus.



There's just no good news or bright side right now. I'm unemployed. Uh, the life of a freelancer is glamorous. No notice, no nothing. Double negative, expletive, etc. Seems the next episode I was going to work on got cancelled. Which leaves a gaping four week hole before my next job. And! That next job is a huge downwards step because, "There were too many people in line before you". That's not what I was told when I signed on for a lower rate last year. I was told I would have a spot on the next show. "You do" they argued. As a night assistant. "It's not you..." they said, and I felt like I was in the midst of a terrible breakup.

And now, while I felt so smart attempting to pay off some credit cards, I'm finding myself with little to no savings. Poor planning all around. Definitley been an explicit 24 hours.

Thus, the new search begins. When can I stop starting from square 1?

Eff.

Calm and Normal, But a Little Punchy

I hate that my ridiculous fan-girl post is top on the page so I thought I'd push it down a little bit!

I've almost lived in LA for a year. I also just ordered the most amazing business cards ever. Here's a sneak peak (without text obv):


Don't even try and say that's not the best business card ever. Cause it is. (Yes, that is me in the glamour shot. That may be my calling card for life. Thank you Mom for taking me to get those done on that sweet September morning in '94.)

I've almost lived in LA for an entire year. Five days away from my anniversary. Will for sure do another one of those "Since I've Lived in LA" things. Also, I'm not feeling creative enough right this instant but I'm definitely going to be writing a "day in the life of"... a very secret object. But bullets are involved. And lottery tickets. And it's a true made-up story using circumstancial evidence. Get it? You will. (Maybe.)

Oh! I got my favorite editing note ever today! Love it!



Story of my life! If I had a nickel... (I loved how I checked it off victoriously. "Done!")

Also, in one of my voiceovers I said "vicarious" instead of "precarious". Somehow it almost made it all the way to air. Luckily, it was caught today. Man, that would have been embarrasing. That note was funny too but too long for me to get a good pic of it. Something about being curious...

Anyway, I'm tired from all the making myself laugh.

"too but too"

Oh My GOOOOOOOOD

Yes, I just saw my favorite celebrity ever! Oh man! I can't even type right now. I was sitting across from her at a resturant. I'm insane right now, sorry. Just thought I'd share! Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say other than, oh my goodness!! I can't believe that just happened!!! I'm in a state of euphoria. CDBL------CALL ME!

Ousted

I've been ousted! Geez, I'm so not used to having spare time at work, but today has been so slow! So, I've been making phone calls (and even texts), and no one is returning them! I seriously feel like I'm going crazy. It makes me so paranoid, like what did I do?! What did I say?! Maybe everyone has good reasons, but seriously, it's going on 48 hours, which is rarer than rare for me to not speak to my people! This has seriously been a shotty week!!!

I feel like Truman in moments like these. I'm doing what any normal person would do it a situation like mine: "...Mommy?"





Update: My paranoia strikes again. People were busy. Go figure. Add being less paranoid to my list of goals for this year along with going whale watching, taking a pottery class, joining the gym, quitting smoking, Malibu trips every other week, eating heathier.

To Whom It May Concern 2

It's been a while since I've done one of these, but they always end up being my favorite!

Dear Margaret,

Please, oh please, make my life and come weep with me. Moreover, I want you to see LA through my eyes. I wish you could see what I see in it.


Dear Lexus IS350 Owners,

Love your sweet, sweet car.


Dear Larry the Cable Guy,

I don't think your funny! I tried! I really did!


Dear Exec,

Be gentle!!!


Dear James Denton,

I recognized you, and sorry I didn't smile. My mind was going in a million different directions and I was outside before I comprehended that was you. (I'm sure you were losing sleep over this, so please, rest easy now.) You're a handsome, handsome, handsome man.


Dear Spark Readers,

I am not in a happy ending type of mood these days. These somber days will soon pass and I'll return to the chapter! FINAL chapter that is. Sorry for the long wait but hopefully it will be worth it.


Dear Brother,

I realize I was overly critical this weekend and perhaps hurt your feelings. I've been in a mood lately. Sorry for being a bitch.


Dear "You Go Girl" Girls,

What's your secret?


Dear Conan,

Why, oh why, are you in reruns so much lately???


Dear Christina Ricci,

Did you kinda call Jay Leno a degenerate? I found that moment pretty awkward. Was it, or am I misreading it?


Dear Buffalo Sauce,

Yum-O! You rock and even better with ranch.

I Now Pronouce You Mrs. Coffee

This union has been coming for a while now. I finally found a coffee maker that I love waking up to in the morning.

I had just gotten a new coffee maker in November after being forced to abandon my old one when I left NY. (Along with my vacuum, a wonderful painting, both of my TVs, a card table, my infamous recliner, and loads and loads of other things. I could only take what would fit in my car.) Once in LA, I used my roommates until November and then, when I moved to my new place, I bought a new one.

This coffee maker was one that I thought would last forever. It was Black and Decker and matched my kitchen and was stainless steel. Well looks can be decieving. It didn't keep my coffee warm, which was my biggest complaint, where literally, immediately after making the coffee it would turn off and start cooling. It had bragged on its box that coffee stayed warm for two hours. NOt so. After fifteen minutes, unable to reheat the coffee pot or even turn it on, I'd have to microwave my coffee. Disgrace!

I finally had enough and kicked it to the curb. And then I found my true love.

Mr. Coffee has a glass carafe and with that, has a delicious non-metallic taste. It's beautiful and most importantly, keeps my coffee hot for two hours. The coffee maker even has a clock in which it tells me how long my coffee has been sitting there, and sure enough, the coffee maker stays on until that two hour time is up. And it's a delightful temperature.




I couldn't be happier with him. My coffee is perfect. Someway, somehow, if I don't do the coffee to water ratio correctly, it knows and corrects it for a perfect cup everytime. It also has a water filter for the water! If you're in the market for a coffee maker, do yourself a favor and look this little guy up.

It was truly, love at first sip.

You Better Google Me, Baby

New favorite song.



I mean seriously, you can Google me!

Also, out of all of the Google searches that have resulted in someone coming to my page, the winner for the most returns is "avocado coffee". No joke.

"You can find me in Webster under the word star." This song makes me want to go out to a dance club, and if you know me, that's huge!

My Episode (and Dream Car)

My episode is airing this weekend! My debut as editor on a real show that needed editing, vs the show I used to edit which was a format show and was just a lot of standups and segments strung together. But this show, (one which I am not naming because I don't want to be Googled in that capacity!), took a lot of work, and a lot of time, and even though it's not as good as I believe it maybe could have been had I had more time, (isn't that always the case?), it's my debut and I'm pretty freaking excited. So check out TLC at 8:30 on Saturday and see all my hard work come to fruition, (and the reason I haven't updated "Spark" lately). Anyway, I'm still trying to cash in my day off and having trouble doing so! Big day tomorrow with new deadlines for a new episode and then tomorrow night I'm going to my friend's movie premiere which, wait for it, will be my first red carpet event! And rumor has it the paps will be there. So who knows, maybe I'll be on wireimage or something. Doubtful! But you never know.

And for all the love I give LA, I really wish it would stop being cold and rainy. What happened to no seasons?!?!?!

Is anyone else obsessed with The Million Dollar Mission? Deal or No Deal, if you're wondering. Monday is the night, I believe. Pretty exciting.

Last item on my agenda is the dentist. I love my dentist, maybe because he's a self-proclaimed sadist or maybe because he's so darn cute with his Russian accent. Or maybe it's because he can do a filling in like twenty minutes flat. Anyway, he's amazing. And he always says, "Let's see how I'm going to torture you today," when he sits down. Okay, why do I find that so charming. Must be the accent. Nonetheless, I was so sore today after my "bigger than a filling, smaller than a crown" today. But it's over. And unfortunately, since I don't have dental insurance, I had to get a dental credit card, which pushes me further away from my dream of a Lexus IS350. I'm obsessed.

I present to you my car-crush:




It's even more beautiful in person.

What I Would Like To See

With election day looming, I thought it would be interesting to make a list of, (buzz word ahead), changes I'd like to see in this country:

STOP the tolerance of intolerance.

I'd like to see America once again adored by other countries and for me not be ashamed to say I'm an American.

I'd like to see America as an economic icon once again, and not just a cultural one, by bringing back the middle class.

I'd like my kids to grow up in a world that is greener and more focused on the environment so that their kids and their kids and their kids can enjoy the same world we enjoy every day.

I'd like to see equal rights for all Americans, from women making the same amount as men to gay couples being able to enjoy the same rights as straight ones.

I'd like to see an education system that encourages kids to stay in school.

I'd like to see less focus on the "war on drugs" and more focus on drug programs and after school care for children whose parents work.

I'd like to see less crowded prisons and more work camps for inmates to be better prepared to enter back into society.

I'd like to feel safe with a military at home, prepared to defend me and those around me.

I'd like this country's leaders to take a good long look at the Fall of Rome and take notes.

I'd like to see the national debt start declining, at the very least.

I'd like to see the end of tax breaks for jobs shipped overseas, and stop reading quotes like this in my paper:
“You can outsource a lot of activities and get them done just as well at a lower cost,” -Treasury Secretary John Snow

And lastly, and maybe most importantly, I'd like to see the end of the seperation of classes where the rich continue to get richer and the poorer continue to get poorer.

And did I mention, STOP THE TOLERANCE OF INTOLERANCE!!!

To Be Fair---

Equal Press!




Wanna watch something scary??? This is Dick Cheney in 1994 predicting the future in a Nostradamus kind of way, (kind of).

Okay So--

I was talking to a friend last night about my recent interest in religion, science, and politics. I was sort of dumbfounded at how this interest had seemed to take hold over night. He had the theory, (as the same thing happened to him last year), that once we were out of school, it was fun and work. Now that we've learned that balance, our minds are seeking more enlightenment.

Hence, this sudden interest. Anyway, if you're not into this, I understand. (Skip down to the best friends post I just refound and finally posted!) I hope this isn't overkill but I have one more thing to post tonight and then I'm done.



This is from HBO's Documentary entitled, "Friends of God: A Road Trip With Alexandra Pelosi"

The estimated 50 to 80 million evangelical Christians living in America today have become a formidable force in our culture and democracy. But the evangelical movement is a big tent. To try and get a better understanding of the range and diversity of this community, intrepid filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi hit the road to meet some evangelicals and learn about what their influence may mean for the future of the country.

I must quote "Friends" on this one:

PHOEBE: That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.

JOEY: Such as?

PHOEBE: Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?

ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?

PHOEBE: Nah. Not really.

ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?

PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.

ROSS: Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?

PHOEBE: Yeah, I just don't buy it.

ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.

PHOEBE: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.

ROSS: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?

PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

Best-est-est-est

(Just found this and I'm not sure why I never posted. I wrote this entry last January. Better late than never!)

A best friend. We all want one. At one point or another in our lives, we thought we've found one. We might think we have one now. You may. Best friends are these idolized relationships that can rarely live up to the expectations we give them.

They want to be the ones that you can tell anything to. They tell you everything. They know all your secrets and you, theirs. You go to dinner, movies; you laugh at all the same jokes, you love the same music. They are you, only better. And they'd say the same about you if someone asked. They'd never not call when they say they will, and they're by your side before you have to ask. They know what makes you sad and avoid these subjects like the plague. A best friend brings your favorite dessert over when you tell them you've had a bad day at work. Boys never come between you, and they're there for you even if it means canceling a big date. These are the best friends we want. These are the best friends we want to be. These are the best friends we'll never have. These are the best friends we'll never be.

Years ago, in middle school or even before, my friends and I would rank our friends on a scale of "est"s. Sure, being a best friend was good. Being a best-est-est-est friend, was better. We'd give an extra "est" for each time that person made us feel like we mattered. Or because they were beside us while we were making the list. Or they'd bump up our popularity points.

We'd claim best friends forever but our lists would change daily, weekly, monthly. In the next two years, many of the people on the list would have stolen our sister's bathing suit or our favorite necklace or our boyfriend. The list would change and evolve. And one day, we'd stop making these lists, calling them childish and irrelevant. But it was still there. In our heads. And each time we saw them laughing with someone else, passing us by in the halls, being someone else's biology partner, we'd demote them in our heads. We'd vow that we could find someone to replace them. But then they'd be back, and could somehow make it back to the top of our lists in a few seconds. We'd deny such a list exists.

We've all had a best friend. We can all remember the moment that they stabbed us in the back clearly. We still feel the sting. We remember when they let us down, or when they found a new best friend. We remember when we drifted apart. We remember when we found someone to fill this new-found void. We remembered to hold ourselves a little closer, and this time, maybe we could be the one to let go first. Maybe this time, we'd have someone else lined up to fill the position when we were pushed away.

One day we'd look back at our best friends and wonder if such a thing ever existed. If there was one friend who was better than all the rest. Someone who fulfilled our image of them. Fulfilled the role of "best".

We want to believe that we'd be a great best friend. But we all disappoint. We all screw up, and we all get blinded. We forget, we move on, we let go. We forget to call or ask about their day. Sure friendship is about forgiveness, but should a best friend be able to screw up? If we are called the best friend, shouldn't we be the best at being a friend that we can be. And is anything short of that a failure? Is that why they're so fleeting? Expectations?

One day we let go of pretenses. We stop having best friends in a move of self-defense or something else. We have friends. We have good friends, work friends, acquaintances, and sometimes even great friends. We forget to sign our notes with the few extra "est"s in fear of disappointing or disappointment. We stop creating an impossible image. We stop believing in best friends. We think it's sad to let such a tradition die but we are tired.

(Secretly, we still hope they exist, even if the image looks a little different. We keep one eye open like a pre-teen on Christmas. We try not to be too disppointed when our parents have a milk mustache in the morning and their breath smells suspiciously of Oreos.)